‘End the affair with dignity’
I’ve been in a relationship for four years. Now, I feel I don’t love her anymore. She has sacrificed a lot in these four years for our relationship. I’m confused. Should I continue in the relationship or end it? VJ
The short answer is, end it. But my editor says I must write at least three lines, even if it’s the same line. Even if it is the same line. (Sorry, needed to do that). The point is, if you do not love her, you’ve got your answer. Why live a lie? You’ll end it sooner or later anyway. I know you don’t want to be cruel, but dragging her through a fraud is worse. Somehow be bold, you can do this by being on the level with this girl. Please respect her by ending it in a dignified way.
I broke up with my boyfriend after a year because of my studies. There were ups and downs as well. I have now realised how much I love him. But, he doesn’t love me anymore. I can’t bear the fact that he has started liking another girl. Should I confess everything or leave it on time? JD
It was Camu who said, ‘Don’t finish my chips Margaret’. This statement of course has nothing to do with you, but on that particular day when Camu didn’t get any chips for dinner, he made his most memorable point, which was, ‘Children who put studies before love will develop skinny legs’. The deeper meaning in this statement applies to you. Homework and studies have their place, but they cannot be used as an excuse to postpone love. Just like in one day you can eat, drink, use the bathroom (and in some cases eat again) so can you study, love, drink, eat, use the bathroom, and in some cases, study while using the bathroom. Now, JD, all you all you can do is go to him and tell him how you feel, and let me tell you that he has most likely moved on. Yet, for your closure, speak to him, but never ever use excuses to postpone love again.
I’m married and have a baby. Whenever my husband gets money, he wastes it and never buys me anything. When I insist, he buys stuff for my daughter and his family. He complains to my in-laws about me. If I say something, he is ready to hit me. What should I do? PN
PN, this is a behavioural problem. Your hubby seems to be a selfcentred, selfish and an
insensitive miser. Please tell your husband that there are only two words that are the secret to a marriage: joint accounts. I insist on a joint account; withhold sex, withhold food, withhold civility, but insist on a joint account. Explain to the buffoon you married that marriage is about ‘we’ not ‘he’. Of course, divorce is about ‘us’, but let’s not go there. Who says he gets to be finance minister? God, No! And if he raises his hand on you again, two words: Police station.
My husband mostly stays in Goa due to work, and comes to Mumbai once in 15 days. I like a boy in my office. I like his company. I think he also loves me. We have become very close. I don’t want to cheat on my husband. So with much difficulty, I didn’t talk to the boy for 15 days. But, now we have started chatting again. How do I keep away from him? SA
Marriages are like cars, they have to be serviced. And unfortunately, you are the mechanic yourself. If your hubby’s sojourn is temporary, fine. But if it is long term, better talk to him of an alternative. Otherwise, human nature coupled with loneliness, coupled with boy in tight pants will cause you to stray. And I’ve never understood why two people who get married decided to live apart. I thought that was divorce. This tech age is so confusing.