‘Go, take your mar­malade’

Hindustan Times (Patna) - Live - - Lifestyle -

I have been dat­ing a girl for the past six years. She is av­er­age look­ing, but an awe­some talker. My par­ents want me to marry a beau­ti­ful girl from my caste. They are not forc­ing me to get mar­ried but they haven’t ac­cepted my girl­friend. And now that I’ve been see­ing beau­ti­ful girls, my thoughts are chang­ing. Af­ter six years of be­ing in a re­la­tion­ship, things are bound to go down­hill even if some­one was dat­ing Salma Hayek or Sal­man Khan for that mat­ter. What do I do?

Kshi­tij Singh What an awe­some

ques­tion, Kshi­tiji. Well done. Now if it was a lit­tle shorter, I would be able to an­swer it prop­erly. Still I’ll deal with what­ever I can re­mem­ber. Your av­er­age look­ing girl is an awe­some talker. Now keep in mind that Vidhu and Vi­rodh, noted paraso­ci­ol­o­gists state that phys­i­cal at­trac­tion is about 70% of the re­la­tion­ships. This is why boys don’t marry boys. If you know what I mean. Also af­ter see­ing so called beau­ti­ful girls, you want to bite the ap­ple to taste the mar­malade. To boil the egg. To scat­ter the oats. Again, (big­wink), (fol­lowed by el­bow nudge), if you know what I mean? Clearly from the tone of the let­ter, you have an­swered your own query and sim­ply want me to be like a good vest, and of­fer you sup­port. So, yes you have my sup­port to move on to beau­ti­ful things. Go boil your egg. Go sow your oats. Go, take your mar­malade. I had my first crush when I was 13. Now, I am 19. Re­cently, my crush con­tacted me again and said he wanted to know me bet­ter. I started feel­ing for him again. But then, he asked me if he could have sex with me be­cause he was my first crush. I have blocked him since. How do I get rid of my feel­ings for him? DG DG, lets be­gin with a les­son on sex. Sorry, can­cel that, the editor has just in­formed me that we may or may not be pro­hib­ited to dis­cuss this sub­ject due to some con­fu­sion over the porn ban. Any­how, let me say this. When a bum­ble­bee fe­male falls for a bum­ble­bee male, they have a phys­i­cal re­la­tion­ship, and pro­duce small bum­bles. What works for the bees, also works for us. Now don’t get con­fused and try to per­suade a bum­ble­bee in a ro­man­tic fash­ion, that’s not what I’m say­ing. I’m say­ing if you like him, and he likes you, and the time is right then phys­i­cal re­la­tions may fol­low. So, are you turned off by him be­cause he pro­posed sex? Or are you up­set that it took him this long to fall for you? Fig­ure that out first. Keep it sim­ple. Fol­low the bum­ble bee.

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