Los­ing love to tech­nol­ogy?

A new re­search proves that ‘phubbing’, which is the habit of snub­bing some­one in favour of a mo­bile phone, can dam­age ro­man­tic re­la­tion­ships

Hindustan Times (Patna) - Live - - Lifestyle - Collin Ro­drigues ■ collin. ro­drigues@ hin­dus­tan­times. com

P hub­bing, a term that was coined by the Mac­quarie Dic­tionary in 2012, is used to de­scribe an in­ci­dent wherein a per­son ig­nores or snubs another, by choos­ing to spend time on his or her phone, in­stead of talk­ing to his or her com­pan­ion. And be­cause the mo­bile phone has be­come an es­sen­tial part of our lives, this term has never been more rel­e­vant. How­ever, re­searchers have now dis­cov­ered that this phe­nom­e­non can have far-reach­ing con­se­quences on in­ter­per­sonal re­la­tion­ships.

Re­cently, a study done by Bay­lor Univer­sity, Texas, US, con­cluded that re­peated in­ci­dents of phubbing can se­verely, and even per­ma­nently, dam­age ro­man­tic as­so­ci­a­tions. The in­sti­tute con­ducted a sur­vey specif­i­cally with 145 adults who were in re­la­tion­ships, and found that al­most half of the par­tic­i­pants were vic­tims of phubbing. The study con­cluded that 46.3% said that they were be­ing phubbed by their part­ner. Out of that statis­tic, 22.6% felt that phubbing caused con­flict in their re­la­tion­ships, and 36.6% re­vealed that they were de­pressed be­cause of it. In­ter­est­ingly, this phe­nom­e­non isn’t con­fined only to the west.

Com­mu­ni­cate well

City-based re­la­tion­ship ex­perts, too, have no­ticed an in­crease in the num­ber of peo­ple com­ing to them with phubbing-re­lated is­sues. Re­la­tion­ship coun­sel­lor, Kin­jal Pandya, says that if some­one starts talk­ing to another per­son vir­tu­ally, while spend­ing time with his or her part­ner, the lat­ter is bound to feel ne­glected. “The part­ner may feel that he or she is not in­ter­est­ing enough. So, even if the phub­ber’s rea­son for us­ing the phone is gen­uine, the next per­son may not know that, and may feel that the phub­ber has adopted this method to avoid a par­tic­u­lar con­ver­sa­tion, or sim­ply ig­nore him or her. This can prove to be a ma­jor hin­drance in a re­la­tion­ship,” she says. Com­mu­ni­ca­tion plays a big role in strength­en­ing a cou­ple’s bond. Ac­cord­ing to re­la­tion­ship coun­sel­lor Vishnu Modi, a per­son who has reser­va­tions about phubbing, needs to con­vey to his or her part­ner how he or she feels. “The other part­ner may not even know that the for­mer is suf­fer­ing silently,” says Modi. Some­times, peo­ple are un­able to con­vey their prob­lems to their part­ners. Pandya of­fers a so­lu­tion for those sit­u­a­tions, say­ing, “There may be some­thing stop­ping you from con­fronting your part­ner. It may be your lack of con­fi­dence. But you need to over­come that, rather than not say­ing any­thing at all. And, if you don’t get proper feed­back from your part­ner, you should take the help of a pro­fes­sional.”

Ex­plain your­self

A com­mon sit­u­a­tion that many cou­ples face is when they’re in the mid­dle of an im­por­tant con­ver­sa­tion, and one per­son re­ceives an ur­gent call. While deal­ing with such in­ci­dents, Modi says, “In­stead of just tak­ing the call, ex­plain to your part­ner that the call is im­por­tant. Even if the call gets dis­con­nected, you can al­ways call that per­son back im­me­di­ately. But make sure your part­ner knows why you need to an­swer it.”

Other prob­lem ar­eas

Prob­lems re­lated to phubbing are not con­fined to phone con­ver­sa­tions alone. Chat­ting on mo­bile apps also leads to peo­ple feel­ing ne­glected. The sim­ple so­lu­tion, in such cases, is to leave your phone away from where you are seated. Modi says, “With the use of so­cial media and What­sApp on the rise, third party in­ter­fer­ence in your life is un­stop­pable. You have to be strict and dis­ci­plined at times.”

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from India

© PressReader. All rights reserved.