‘Honey, I love this girl’

Hindustan Times (Patna) - Live - - Lifestyle - cyrus@hin­dus­tan­times.com And I’ll give you some re­lief…. err… that is, pro­vided, I’m not do­ing a headstand at the time

I’m a 41-year-old di­vorced busi­ness­man who is look­ing for a live-in re­la­tion­ship in Chandi­garh. News­pa­pers, like The Tri­bune, don’t ac­cept such ads. I have a fe­male child who is 12-years-old. Mat­ri­mo­nial ads are a big gam­ble. Will a live-in work in my case? How can I find some­one com­pat­i­ble? How can I find some­one for a live-in re­la­tion­ship?

AS

Yes AS, your ap­proach is fan­tas­tic. Fan­tas­tic if you’re buy­ing a fridge. Sadly while search­ing for a mate, it’s not al­ways so clin­i­cal. How­ever, good news is in store for you. First, let me wel­come you to the 21st cen­tury. Please press the green but­ton and pro­ceed. So­cial net­work­ing is your an­swer. There are many web­sites (last count 11,433) that al­low you to hook up with like­minded prospec­tive par­ties. Your idea of a ‘live in’ maybe ap­pre­ci­ated by the fu­ture part­ner. A word of cau­tion be­fore agree­ing to let her live in. Now don’t waste time, go on­line.

I’m in love with a girl who al­ready has a boyfriend. She says she and her boyfriend have some sort of a con­tract and that they will break-up next year. I have met her just two or three times. We chat a lot on phone and What­sapp. We’re good friends now. How do I ex­press my feel­ings to her? Should I wait till her breakup? When would be the right time to tell her that I love her?

Honey

Honey, I love this girl that you may love. She may be the most ef­fi­cient lover ever. I mean Sang Lin Win of the Tang Dy­nasty broke up with a girl ev­ery week and moved onto a fresh one for seven con­sec­u­tive years. Of course, he used a very per­sua­sive ar­gu­ment: “Let’s break up or your head and your en­tire fam­ily will dis­ap­pear from the earth”.

Af­ter lots of think­ing, most girls agreed to move on. I say let her hon­our her con­tract. But please ask her to share de­tails such as when, what month, week day­time etc the break up is ex­pected. Yes, don’t be a mo­ron and tell her you like her, as she doesn’t seem too keen on her first choice.

I’m in love with my school teacher. I even con­fessed my love to him, but he thinks I’m too young for him and that I don’t know what love is. I’m 18 and he is 25. He is mar­ried and even has a daugh­ter. But, he and his wife stay sep­a­rately. What should I do?

Leey­era

Leey­era, crushes with and on school teach­ers is as old as the flawed con­cept of ed­u­ca­tion it­self... I, too, had a crush on my head­mistress, but since I was four years at the time, the po­lice were never called in. Later, when I taught func­tional elec­tron­ics at the Univer­sity of Wor­rick, I dis­cov­ered many stu­dents had crushes on me. But since none were fe­male (al­though one was a dancer), I never re­cip­ro­cated the feel­ing. The stu­dent-teacher dy­nam­ics lends it­self to ro­mance. So, my ad­vice is that if you had to fall for a teacher, avoid the mar­ried ones with daugh­ters. He seems to have dis­suaded you, so do what you came to school for — lis­ten to your teacher.

I’ve been a close friend with a girl for a year-and-a-half now. We share every­thing with each other. But, of late, she hasn’t been talk­ing to me much be­cause her fa­ther and brother don’t like me. I feel sad about this. She has even blocked me on What­sapp and other so­cial net­work­ing sites. What should I do?

DT

DT, in Stella Smith’s book ‘DogTrain­ing’, she points out that it’s dif­fi­cult to house train a puppy who is dis­tracted. The same is true of your sit­u­a­tion. She is dis­tracted and in­flu­enced by her fam­ily. Sadly, that in­flu­ence is much stronger than her feel­ings for you. In toi­let train­ing terms, she will pee on the bed if you let her lay on it. Write to her a firmly-worded let­ter about how dis­ap­pointed you are and then leave her alone. If she re­sponds, well and good. If not, go by what the bard says — ‘let sleep­ing dogs lie’, es­pe­cially if they are not toi­let trained.

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