Are you liv­ing with an abu­sive part­ner?

Hindustan Times (Patna) - Live - - TIME OUT - Collin Rodrigues collin.rodrigues@hin­dus­tan­

Ac­tor Am­ber Heard filed for di­vorce from her hus­band, Johnny Depp, re­cently, claim­ing that the Hol­ly­wood star had abused her. Abuse in re­la­tion­ships is not con­fined only to celebri­ties. Al­most ev­ery day, news­pa­pers re­port sto­ries of peo­ple who go through phys­i­cal, emo­tional or sex­ual abuse in re­la­tion­ships. Psy­chi­a­trist Git­tan­jali Sax­ena says gen­er­ally, peo­ple who sub­ject their part­ners to any form of abuse suf­fer from is­sues re­lated to power and con­trol. “The abuser could also have had a pam­pered child­hood, in which the par­ent al­lowed him or her to do what­ever they wanted. So, he or she now wants a part­ner to do what the par­ents al­ways did,” she says.


Strangely, many peo­ple con­tinue to be in abu­sive re­la­tion­ships for years. Re­la­tion­ship ex­pert Praney Anand says there could be mul­ti­ple rea­sons for this be­hav­iour. “Some­times, there is a lot at stake in a re­la­tion­ship or a mar­riage — chil­dren, fi­nances, so­cial pres­sure and le­gal im­pli­ca­tions. Some peo­ple also be­come ac­cus­tomed to this way of life. The fear of ‘What next?’ might stop peo­ple from tak­ing steps to pro­tect them­selves,” he adds.

Anand re­veals that at times, peo­ple cope with abuse to a point that they do not even re­alise what is hap­pen­ing to them. He says in such sit­u­a­tions, it is im­por­tant to talk to a friend or a fam­ily mem­ber.


Abu­sive re­la­tion­ships are harm­ful for chil­dren that they may have. Re­la­tion­ship coun­sel­lor Shyam Mithiya says watch­ing ei­ther of their par­ents abuse one another im­pacts chil­dren men­tally. “Some­times, chil­dren start be­liev­ing that one per­son is abus­ing the other be­cause of them. If the abuse con­tin­ues, chil­dren can be­come de­pressed,” says Mithiya.


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