A tip for online daters: Brag less, re­veal more about the real you

Hindustan Times (Patna) - Live - - Lifestyle -

Brag­ging is a strict no-no if you wish to at­tract a pos­si­ble part­ner through online dat­ing. Rather, present your­self as hum­ble and “real,” sug­gests new re­search.

Brag­gers are of­ten seen as ar­ro­gant or im­mod­est, and high­light­ing your favourable phys­i­cal char­ac­ter­is­tics and per­son­al­ity traits while min­imis­ing the neg­a­tives in the online pro­file can re­duce the viewer’s in­ten­tion to con­tact you. “Daters should strive to present them­selves as hum­ble, ‘real’ peo­ple,” say the au­thors, es­pe­cially if daters want to es­tab­lish a re­la­tion­ship based on trust.

Crys­tal Wotipka and An­drew High of the Univer­sity of Iowa asked 316 online daters what they thought of some pro­files. Par­tic­i­pants were pre­sented with one of four sam­ple online dat­ing pro­files that ex­hib­ited dif­fer­ent types of con­tent de­vel­op­ment by the pro­file owner.

The re­searchers looked specif­i­cally at the ef­fects of two con­cepts — se­lec­tive-self pre­sen­ta­tion and war­rant­ing. Se­lec­tive self­p­re­sen­ta­tion is peo­ple’s abil­ity to high­light the most flat­ter­ing in­for­ma­tion to oth­ers.

In the con­text of online dat­ing, where the goal is to at­tract a part­ner, one tends to “brag” a lit­tle. Peo­ple can “war­rant” their pro­files by pro­vid­ing ac­cess to cor­rob­o­rat­ing sites — a link to a pro­fes­sional bi­og­ra­phy page or a blog to which they reg­u­larly con­trib­ute.

The au­thors found that view­ers judged peo­ple who were per­ceived as overly brag­ging about them­selves, their looks or their ac­com­plish­ments as less trust­wor­thy and less so­cially at­trac­tive, thereby less­en­ing viewer’s in­ten­tions to date or con­tact those pro­file own­ers.



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