‘A lit­tle en­cour­age­ment from you could go a long way. Take the lead’

Hindustan Times (Patna) - Live - - Lifestyle -

I know a guy for the last seven years. I con­fessed my feel­ings to him a year back. At that point, he had said he loved me. But, later he said we can’t be in a re­la­tion­ship. At times, he says he loves me. Even our par­ents know about the whole is­sue. What should I do?

MM

The the­ory of con­tra­dic­tion was pre­sented by noted Ital­ian sci­en­tist Giuseppe Borelli in 1794. Borelli ex­plained this by try­ing to eat and vomit at the same time. He per­formed this act suc­cess­fully at the Court of the Duke of Verona. The Duke en­joyed the per­for­mance and then im­me­di­ately had Borelli shot. MM, your guy is ex­hibit­ing the same be­hav­iour. He says he loves you, but yet doesn’t want a re­la­tion­ship. It looks like he’s suf­fer­ing from an acute case of un­dy­namic cow­ardice. He lacks courage, so you need to lend him some. If he loves you, that’s enough. Guide him into a re­la­tion­ship, just don’t tell him what you guys are do­ing. If he loves you, he’ll slip into the role, any­way.

Re­cently, I bonded with a girl at a pic­nic be­cause I liked her. At the same time, I ig­nored an­other girl who likes me. Now, this girl who likes me has been con­stantly ask­ing why I ig­nored her. I don’t want to break her heart. Also, I don’t want to give up on the girl I like. It’s af­fect­ing my aca­demic per­for­mance. Please help.

SS

SS, ask your­self one ques­tion? Okay ask your­self two ques­tion. Firstly ask your­self why you are ask­ing the two ques­tions? Then ask your­self whether you are run­ning an N.G.O. to help peo­ple find love? Stop feel­ing bad for the girl who likes you. Don’t lead her on. Tell her gently that your N.G.O. has not req­ui­site gov­ern­ment per­mis­sions due to con­straints, which are a left­over of de­mon­eti­sa­tion, and has sub­se­quently dosed closed down. And stop act­ing like an id­iot with ‘pic­nic’ girl. If you guys got on, please take it for­ward. Be hon­est to both, con­fine cheat­ing to the rest of your life, out­side ro­mance. The truth may not set you free, but it will help you study peace­fully.

Re­cently, a guy pro­posed to me. And, in­stead of say­ing yes, I told him that I needed time to know him bet­ter. Post this, we met a few times. I de­vel­oped fond­ness for him and told him so. But, grad­u­ally, he started avoid­ing me. So, I stopped call­ing or tex­ting him. It’s been three months since we last talked. Should I for­get him and move on or ask him for an ex­pla­na­tion?

Anony­mous

Anon­jee, you and I both know the an­swer to this ques­tion. And the an­swer is two words, Ro­hit Sharma. Ro­hit Sharma is syn­ony­mous with great tim­ing while bat­ting. You also need to as­pire to be a Ro­hit, and im­prove your tim­ing. The horse has bolted, but it hasn’t left the build­ing al­to­gether. (Although why your horse is in a build­ing, is some­thing P.E.T.A needs to take up, post Jal­likattu). Don’ t run away, it’s your turn to take the ini­tia­tive. He may have cooled off, but a lit­tle en­cour­age­ment from you could go a long way. Take the lead, what have you for to lose?

I am in love with a close friend. We did our mas­ters to­gether. At that time, she was in­ter­ested in me, but I was dat­ing some­one. I too felt some­thing for her but I re­sisted due to my other com­mit­ment. Last year, I broke up with my girl­friend since I was get­ting con­nected to this friend of mine, who has been in a re­la­tion­ship for the past two years. Re­cently, we shared our feel­ings with each other and she said she loves me. We share a strong emo­tional bond. I think she is a bit con­fused as she told me she is happy with her boyfriend. I ex­pect her to take a de­ci­sion the way I took in my past re­la­tion­ship. At present, she is avoid­ing me. I want to tell her that I want to be with her. I know it would cost our friend­ship but I don’t see a way out. Do you, sir?

Deepak

Deepak, I like your all or noth­ing ap­proach. If she says she loves you, that’s 93% of the bat­tle won. 4% is her get­ting over the boyfriend, and 3% is if she’s truly com­fort­able with your footwear. Look D, the fact that she’s turned to you, means there’s a vac­uum in her re­la­tion­ship, in any case. It looks like you guys are very keen on each other. She just needs con­fi­dence from you that you are in for the long haul. Why don’t you show her this let­ter you wrote to me? I think this will clar­ify all her doubts. But when you do, please make sure you are wear­ing a classy pair of shoes .....

IF SHE SAYS SHE LOVES YOU, THAT’S 93% OF THE BAT­TLE WON. 4% IS HER GET­TING OVER THE BOYFRIEND, AND 3% IS IF SHE’S TRULY COM­FORT­ABLE WITH YOUR FOOTWEAR

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