Why do gay men find monog­a­mous re­la­tion­ships tough?

Hindustan Times (Patna) - Live - - Time Out - Ak­shay Kaushal ak­shay.kaushal@hin­dus­tan­times.com

While in­fi­delity is ram­pant in het­ero­sex­ual re­la­tion­ships as well, it’s higher in ho­mo­sex­ual cou­ples, say ex­perts. At the time of easy hookups through dat­ing apps such as Grindr and Tin­der and the avail­abil­ity of gay bath houses in the city, promis­cu­ity is on the rise.

“I re­ally love my boyfriend but when I look at other good look­ing men, my urge to get in­volved in a ro­man­tic li­ai­son or one night stand in­creases,” says Karthik Mehra, 26, a mar­ket­ing pro­fes­sional based in Gu­ru­gram. With same-sex re­la­tion­ships still il­le­gal in In­dia, “a ma­jor­ity of cou­ples are com­mit­ment­pho­bic, and their pur­suit to find some­one more ap­peal­ing con­tin­ues,” adds busi­ness­man Raghav Hasija, 34.

If not cheat­ing, many re­sort to open re­la­tion­ships — that al­low li­aisons out­side of the re­la­tion­ship. “I’m in an open re­la­tion­ship with my part­ner for 10 years now. But that doesn’t lessen my love for him. If I sleep with some­one else, I’ll con­sider it as hookup and there wouldn’t be any emo­tional con­nect,” says model Paras Kukreja.

Psy­chol­o­gist Pulkit Sharma agrees that the rea­son be­hind gays’ promis­cu­ity is their non-ac­cep­tance in the so­ci­ety. “Many gay men come to me and share that they want to be monog­a­mous. They want to marry, but they have not been able to do so be­cause the law and so­ci­ety doesn’t ap­prove of that,” says Sharma.


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