‘Fear of par­ents shouldn’t re­ally be cat­e­gorised as a fear’

Hindustan Times (Patna) - Live - - Lifestyle -

I am 19, and last night when I was sleep­ing in bed I re­alised why am I sin­gle. So, af­ter some re­search I found out that I have never let any­one come closer to me. I want to be in a re­la­tion­ship, but I am con­fused. Please help.


AS, lots of our great­est thoughts have come while ly­ing in bed. De­cath­lete Cham­pion Bruce Jen­ner, re­alised he was a woman while ly­ing in bed. His wife re­alised she was a woman while ly­ing in the same bed, and so ob­vi­ously flew into a fit of rage and ban­ished Bruce to the liv­ing room. Which, AS, is such a stupid term. “Liv­ing” room? It’s not like you are dy­ing in the other rooms, is it? Now to your ques­tion, your fear of close­ness is a woman fear. Just like fear of cock­roaches, or fear of com­mu­nists, I’m an ex­pert with help­ing peo­ple out on cock­roaches, but this fear of close­ness is best dealt with by forc­ing your­self into more so­cial con­tact. You need to go out there and meet peo­ple.. Al­though 95% of them you’ll rightly never want to meet again, only by go­ing out there and meet­ing peo­ple will you give your­self a chance.

I have a crush on my col­lege mate. He showed in­ter­est in me by hat­sap­ping me and chat­ting for hours. Grad­u­ally, he lost in­ter­est, and now he doesn’t talk to me. I like him and he is al­ways on my mind. My stud­ies are get­ting af­fected be­cause of him. I did so much for him. I have given him a few gifts as well. How do I get him out of my life and fo­cus on my stud­ies? GS

So GS, what do you suggest, I suggest? Give him a list of the gifts, you gifted him, and ask for them back, plus a min­i­mum fine of 2 ru­pees? GS, you your­self said he’s lost in­ter­est. Some­times you just have to al­low for it be­ing game over. Eas­ier said than done. But if you know he’s lost in­ter­est, that’s 77.5 per­cent of the bat­tle. 82% in Western cul­tures.

I am in a re­la­tion­ship with my for­mer of­fice col­league for the past one year. She is 13 years older to me and has a bro­ken mar­riage. She is mother of a 13 year old daugh­ter. I sup­port her per­son­ally and pro­fes­sion­ally. This is a pure re­la­tion­ship with­out much in­volve­ment of sex. We of­ten fight, but then we patch up be­cause we can’t live with­out each other. Please suggest. VD

VD, the world renowned den­tist Cav­i­tus Vth , was ex­e­cuted by Hadrian’s troops be­cause of his pu­ri­tan­i­cal views. That and be­cause he ex­tracted the wrong tooth. (He was sup­posed to ex­tract Hadrian’s horse’s tooth and in­stead took off Hadrian’s tooth). My point is what do you mean, you have a pure re­la­tion­ship de­void of sex. That’s one, two you haven’t got a prob­lem, you are just de­scrib­ing what ap­pears to be a pretty happy life, well sup­ported by lucky no.13. If you are ask­ing whether you should marry her? Well you are ask­ing the wrong per­son, please ask that of her di­rectly, and my sug­ges­tion, if all goes well, marry on the 13th day of the month of your choice.

A guy loves me and wants me to be his girl­friend. I love him as well, but due to the fear of my par­ents I am un­able to ap­prove his pro­posal. Please help. San­jeeda

San­jeeda, when I was young boy, (we’ve talk­ing 17th cen­tury or there­abouts), I was afraid of the dark. My dad hit on the novel idea of ty­ing blinds on my eyes in the day to get me more used to dark­ness. A bril­liant strat­egy. Which re­sulted in me be­ing scared of the day as well. My prob­lem still per­sists. What I’m try­ing to say is par­ents aren’t al­ways right, and some­times your par­ents can be in dark­ness. Well, it’s one of those points, I think. In life, we must not have re­grets. Fear of par­ents, re­ally shouldn’t be cat­e­gorised as a fear.

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