Ran into an old flame at a social gathering? Here’s how you should handle the situation
Usually, bumping into an ex flame is not one of those situations that people are most comfortable with. Often, one refrains from talking to their exes for various reasons; one of them being that their current partner might not like it. But, you could land in a situation where your current partner and your ex are in the same room, and you don’t have an option but to stay put.
A few days back it was reported that Kristen Stewart, her model girlfriend Stella Maxwell and her ex-boyfriend Robert Pattinson were stuck on the same flight which was headed to Los Angeles airport. The trio was returning from the Paris Fashion Week in the first class in an 11-hour long flight. According to reports, all three were looking ‘pretty unhappy’ and ‘uneasy’ as they left the international arrivals terminal just a short time apart.
Such a situation may arise not only on a flight, but at several other places –– for example at a party when you have just walked in with your partner and can’t leave immediately because your ex is also present. So, how do you deal with a situation like this?
Clinical psychologist Tanushree Bhargava feels that you should take things calmly. She says, “The first thing one needs to do is not to panic. Be calm and don’t get anxious. A neutral attitude can be the best way of dealing with such a situation –– neither ignore your ex nor be sweet to him or her.” Psychiatrist Gittanjali Saxena says that reactions of people in such a situation could be also based on how the relationship ended. She says, “In case both of you did not get closure, then the ex (if he or she still has feelings for you) would take this opportunity to clear the air. The ex would do things or say something to provoke the other one into giving some kind of a reaction.
Unruly episodes that happen between celebs or people in public are often reported. In 2012, Halle Berry’s ex Gabriel Aubry and her fiancé Olivier Martinez got into a nasty fight. The scuffle started when Aubry took Nahla, his daughter with Berry, to her nativity play. Berry and Martinez also showed up at the play. According to reports, Martinez whispered, “I wish I could beat the **** out of you right now. You’re lucky we’re in a school right now. We’re going to take Nahla right now and you’re not going to follow us,” into Aubry’s ear in French.” In the fight that ensued Martinez knocked Aubry to the ground and brutally beat him as he walked to his car. Bhargava says that in such a scenario, it’s up to either parties to make sure things don’t get ugly. She says, “He or she should make sure tempers don’t flare up. You are the only link between the current and the ex.”
The ex would do things or say something to provoke the other one into giving some kind of a reaction. GITTANJALI SAXENA, PSYCHIATRIST
Robert Pattinson at the Los Angeles airport
Halle Berry with Olivier Martinez