Ran into an old flame at a so­cial gath­er­ing? Here’s how you should han­dle the sit­u­a­tion

Hindustan Times (Patna) - Live - - HT City | Time Out - Collin Ro­drigues collin.ro­drigues@hin­dus­tan­times.com ■

Usu­ally, bump­ing into an ex flame is not one of those sit­u­a­tions that peo­ple are most com­fort­able with. Of­ten, one re­frains from talk­ing to their exes for var­i­ous rea­sons; one of them be­ing that their cur­rent part­ner might not like it. But, you could land in a sit­u­a­tion where your cur­rent part­ner and your ex are in the same room, and you don’t have an op­tion but to stay put.

A few days back it was re­ported that Kris­ten Ste­wart, her model girl­friend Stella Maxwell and her ex-boyfriend Robert Pat­tin­son were stuck on the same flight which was headed to Los An­ge­les air­port. The trio was re­turn­ing from the Paris Fash­ion Week in the first class in an 11-hour long flight. Ac­cord­ing to reports, all three were look­ing ‘pretty un­happy’ and ‘uneasy’ as they left the in­ter­na­tional ar­rivals ter­mi­nal just a short time apart.


Such a sit­u­a­tion may arise not only on a flight, but at sev­eral other places –– for ex­am­ple at a party when you have just walked in with your part­ner and can’t leave im­me­di­ately be­cause your ex is also present. So, how do you deal with a sit­u­a­tion like this?

Clin­i­cal psy­chol­o­gist Tanushree Bhar­gava feels that you should take things calmly. She says, “The first thing one needs to do is not to panic. Be calm and don’t get anx­ious. A neu­tral at­ti­tude can be the best way of deal­ing with such a sit­u­a­tion –– nei­ther ig­nore your ex nor be sweet to him or her.” Psy­chi­a­trist Gittanjali Saxena says that re­ac­tions of peo­ple in such a sit­u­a­tion could be also based on how the re­la­tion­ship ended. She says, “In case both of you did not get clo­sure, then the ex (if he or she still has feel­ings for you) would take this op­por­tu­nity to clear the air. The ex would do things or say some­thing to pro­voke the other one into giv­ing some kind of a re­ac­tion.


Un­ruly episodes that hap­pen between celebs or peo­ple in pub­lic are of­ten re­ported. In 2012, Halle Berry’s ex Gabriel Aubry and her fi­ancé Olivier Martinez got into a nasty fight. The scuf­fle started when Aubry took Nahla, his daugh­ter with Berry, to her na­tiv­ity play. Berry and Martinez also showed up at the play. Ac­cord­ing to reports, Martinez whis­pered, “I wish I could beat the **** out of you right now. You’re lucky we’re in a school right now. We’re go­ing to take Nahla right now and you’re not go­ing to fol­low us,” into Aubry’s ear in French.” In the fight that en­sued Martinez knocked Aubry to the ground and bru­tally beat him as he walked to his car. Bhar­gava says that in such a sce­nario, it’s up to ei­ther par­ties to make sure things don’t get ugly. She says, “He or she should make sure tem­pers don’t flare up. You are the only link between the cur­rent and the ex.”

The ex would do things or say some­thing to pro­voke the other one into giv­ing some kind of a re­ac­tion. GITTANJALI SAXENA, PSY­CHI­A­TRIST


Robert Pat­tin­son at the Los An­ge­les air­port

Halle Berry with Olivier Martinez

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