‘Get into a firm jokey re­la­tion­ship; en­joy your­self’

Hindustan Times (Patna) - Live - - Lifestyle -

I’ve never been in a re­la­tion­ship and I have no plans of be­ing in one. I think that re­la­tion­ships to­day are a joke. When I shared my views with my friends, they laughed and said that the rea­son for my be­liefs is that I’m not able to get into any re­la­tion­ship. Am I go­ing down the right path in life? An old school guy

I’m a huge fan of Old School. In Mum­bai, all Old Schools are on the main roads, and cause aw­ful traf­fic jams. And when ed­u­ca­tion leads to con­fu­sion, you know you are on right path. Let me as­sure that re­la­tion­ships are a joke. Life it­self is a joke. The only joke that’s not a joke oc­ca­sion­ally is an ac­tual joke! But in­stead of ar­gu­ing the point, I ask you sir, “What’s wrong with re­la­tion­ships be­ing a joke? It’s a great at­ti­tude, you don’t take it too se­ri­ously, still have fun, and in the end no one gets hurt as it’s just a joke”. I say run with your phi­los­o­phy. Get into a firm jokey re­la­tion­ship, and en­joy your­self. You want to know what’s not a joke? TAX!

Be­cause of in­ter­fer­ence from my fam­ily, I had to stop talk­ing to my girl­friend of a few months. We aren’t in a re­la­tion­ship any­more. She says she isn’t dat­ing any­one, but at the same time tries to run away from me. I love her and want her back. DK

DK, when the con­ti­nen­tal shift hap­pened, (you must have been very young then), Africa tore away from Asia, and Europe moved away from Amer­ica, and if I’m not mis­taken North Korea moved away from South Korea. It’s very tough for any of these places to get to­gether again, es­pe­cially in the sec­ond half of the year. You stopped talk­ing to her. So as the Ukrainian say­ing goes “the hair is on your scalp|. You pulled out, now you need to work on get­ting her back. Firstly you have to con­vince her that your fam­ily won’t in­ter­fere again. This can be done by get­ting your fam­ily to shoot a mu­sic video for her, in full cos­tume like a mu­si­cal apol­ogy. I sug­gest ‘Ka­jra Re’. But you could go with Pyaar Kiya toh darna kya?

I have not met my boyfriend since the last three months be­cause we are in a long dis­tance re­la­tion­ship. We only talk on Face­book. Now, the chats have got bor­ing be­cause we talk about the same things. There is noth­ing new to say. What should I do to bring the ex­cite­ment back in our re­la­tion­ship? CB

CB, this is not a good sign. Just like the fin­ger a taxi driver flashed at me for cut­ting into his lane. That was a ter­ri­ble sign. Run­ning out of com­mu­ni­ca­tion, means one of you is oxy­gen de­pleted, or is get­ting bored. If you are climb­ing a Hi­malaya whilst chat­ting, you could be oxy­gen de­pleted. But most likely bore­dom is set­ting in. CB, this is when you need to find com­mon in­ter­ests too, chat about, I sug­gest one of the fol­low­ing (a) fe­male body build­ing, (b) peo­ple you hate, (c) birds of prey, and (d) list of peo­ple you’d like to run over.

I am in love with a girl for the past eight years. I pro­posed to her six years back and she was very an­gry. We are still good friends. I don’t want to lose her friend­ship. Should I pro­pose to her again? PK

Firstly, please do not pro­pose to her again. Just to em­pha­sise my point, so we are, per­fectly clear, I’m go­ing to write ‘do not’, seven more times. Do not, Do not, Do not, Do not, Do not, Do not, Do not, pro­pose to her. She has to first ac­cept you as nor­mal again. It’s like build­ing a busi­ness. Go slow. Make her ac­quain­tance show no more in­ter­est in her, then you show for others. Get her to feel com­fort­able around you. Then write to me again.

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