‘Fig­ure out whose prob­lem it is’

Hindustan Times ST (Jaipur) - Hindustan Times (Jaipur) - City - - Time Out - Miss Q KS

I love my boyfriend a lot. We both want to marry each other but he says that his par­ents may or may not ac­cept me. I am wor­ried he may dump me be­cause of his par­ents. Please guide me. Tor­mented girl Tor­mented girl, how many times do I have to say this? Ac­tu­ally I’ve been count­ing. This is the time. You don’t have a prob­lem. You shouldn’t have writ­ten in. He has the prob­lem. Get him to write in. If his par­ents may not ac­cept you it’s his prob­lem. And guess why? It’s his par­ents. We are all re­spon­si­ble for our par­ents like we all are re­spon­si­ble for our own plants, cof­fee ma­chines, mu­tual funds, skin rashes. Par­ents are no dif­fer­ent. Don’t worry, just tell him to sort out with his par­ents and get back to you. If he can’t and wants to stand by them, you get to dump him, and then he may def­i­nitely want to write in.

My boyfriend, whom I have started dat­ing re­cently, wants me to come home be­cause he wants to cook for me, have din­ner and watch lots of movies. We are at an ini­tial stage of dat­ing and he has asked me many times to come over. Will this help my re­la­tion­ship? Miss Q, when El­iz­a­beth I asked Sir Fran­cis Drake to come over, he did so with aplomb. Of course, she has 463 cooks, a 35-course din­ner, and in­stead of tele­vi­sion, two ac­ro­bats used only a leg each to build a hu­man pyra­mid. Sir Fran­cis Drake, re­sponded to her in­vi­ta­tion, as he wanted to take the re­la­tion­ship for­ward. If you want to take your re­la­tion­ship for­ward, yes, ac­cept his in­vi­ta­tion. Re­mem­ber, he can’t force you to do any­thing you don’t want to do. After all he’s not El­iz­a­beth I. By the way, if his name is in­deed El­iz­a­beth, write in separately, as you will then have a new set of prob­lems.

I have a friend who started dat­ing a guy around six months back. Now the guy tells her that there was no such thing as a re­la­tion­ship be­tween them. He has stopped re­spond­ing to her calls and texts. While I have told her to move on and keep her­self busy with other things, she’s un­able to for­get him. She’s been cry­ing and not talk­ing. Please ad­vice. KS, it was the great chess ex­po­nent Visky Anand, who in a pri­vate con­ver­sa­tion told me, “I think half of to­day’s Grand Mas­ters are wear­ing wigs.” Keep in mind Anand him­self, has a good crop of nat­u­ral hair, all over his torso, and even on his head. Anand, also taught me, in chess, as in love, when to ac­cept a check Mate. The guy is avoid­ing your friend clearly, you are do­ing the right thing by telling her it’s over. Some­times, it takes a while to ac­cept a check­mate po­si­tion. But, he’s gone, the match is over. Time will make her see sense. Oh and one more thing, Anand and I done play chess. For us it’s only, hand cricket, and he still wins!

I was in an on and off re­la­tion­ship with a boy for the last three and a half years. He was al­ways afraid of mar­ry­ing me and hurt me a lot. So, I broke up with him. But, since we couldn’t move on, we met after three months. We both don’t want to be in a re­la­tion. But, he treats me like a girl­friend. I miss him if he doesn’t talk to me. What should I do? SO Jer­maine Ja­cob John­son, (or to give him his wrestling ti­tle, Triple’s), wrote in his book, Par­ti­cles That Mat­ter, that, we can give any la­bel and ti­tle to things we want to do. How­ever, what we land up do­ing is the ac­tual truth. Not what we planned to do. For ex­am­ple Triple J wanted to be a char­tered ac­coun­tant. But after 378 failed at­tempts, did the next best thing, and be­came a wrestler. You miss him, he can’t leave you alone. So it’s clear that in­spite of your break-up, you guys are to­gether. So stop ly­ing to your­selves, and face the fact, that you two are a proper, real, item. Three and a half years, seals the deal.

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