A CALMER YOU

HT City - - Relationship -

Sorry if this dis­ap­points you right at the out­set, but it’s not gonna work if you plan to show this col­umn to your spouse, say­ing, ‘Ab toh news­pa­per mein bhi aa gaya…shaadi is noth­ing short of bar­baadi.’ Be­cause I have bet­ter things to say to­day than state the ob­vi­ous. And the things that I want to say aren’t for those who al­ready took the plunge and are reel­ing un­der the al­ways-known-but-stil­lig­nored-is­liye-ab-bhugto side ef­fects.

They are meant for those who are stand­ing at that stage in their lives when mat­ri­mony seems like an im­mi­nent and clear danger in the near fu­ture. Ghar mein shaadi ki baatein ho rahi hain — mom is busy check­ing out saris, dad the fixed de­posits, and close rishtedaars think­ing how to wrig­gle out of gift­ing a gold chain to the bride, con­sid­er­ing the back-break­ing in­fla­tion. And in the mid­dle of all the prepa­ra­tions, the to-be bride or groom are sud­denly spend­ing more time in the loo.

No, you dirty peo­ple with dirty minds, it’s only be­cause now is the mo­ment in their life to stand in front of the mir­ror and ask them­selves the much dreaded question, ‘Have I made it large?’ Oops, I mean, ‘Am I ready for mar­riage yet?’ If ma­tu­rity lev­els are an in­di­ca­tion, a lot of them prob­a­bly aren’t... but then in all like­li­hood, they’ll never be,

Iron­i­cal as it may sound, I’m ad­vis­ing you to not seek too much ad­vice from just about any­one on some­thing as im­por­tant, and per­sonal, as get­ting mar­ried. It’s ba­sic hu­man na­ture, ac­tu­ally, to blurt out thoughts about some­thing that’s caus­ing con­stant con­fu­sion in your mind. But do re­alise that those around you would not have any­thing bet­ter to of­fer than vague or ob­vi­ous suggestions like ‘Give it a se­ri­ous thought’, what­ever that means. If you feel like it, talk to some happy cou­ples for inspiration.

But when it comes to mak­ing a de­ci­sion, the only per­son who can help you is Know your stress: Be clear when it comes to the dis­tinc­tion be­tween the stress

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