HT City - - Lifestyle - Collin.ro­drigues@hin­dus­tan­times.com

closer? Vargh­ese says, “Re­searchers John M Gottman and his wife Julie Schwartz Gottman, who have worked on mar­i­tal sta­bil­ity and done sci­en­tific anal­y­sis of re­la­tion­ships, have said that ‘how of­ten one fights is not a de­ter­mi­nant in the suc­cess of a mar­riage [or re­la­tion­ship], but rather, it is how one fights’. As long as cou­ples re­spect each other, fight­ing is not a threat to the re­la­tion­ship. Rather it has cer­tain ad­van­tages like build­ing trust, in­ti­macy and im­prov­ing char­ac­ter. It helps un­der­stand each other’s feel­ings and emo­tions bet­ter. Fight­ing or get­ting into ar­gu­ments is hu­man na­ture. So, ar­gu­ments or fights are ad­vis­able in its min­i­mal to mod­er­ate form, within the lim­its and by re­spect­ing the in­di­vid­u­al­ity of each other. They shouldn’t be of abu­sive na­ture and lead to do­mes­tic vi­o­lence. More­over they should be very volatile and tem­po­rary in na­ture.”

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