Really want to share your feelings? Get a parrot
I am 24, and I still don’t have a girlfriend with whom I can share my feelings. Sometimes, I crib about this aspect of my life, and at the same time, I feel it’s great to be independent. The cribbing kills me internally. Now, I am confused. Should I have a girlfriend? — SY
SY, your question is part existentialist and part romantic. Shall we say “Romantentialist’? Why do you need to share your feelings with a girlfriend? You can share them with a parrot, with a canine, with a tree, with a plastic bag. You could also do what all gainfully employed people do. That is, share your thoughts on Facebook. First let nature take its course, fall for a girl, see if she’s interested in you. If she is, you’ll get to unload all your feelings at her doorstep. For now, keep your feelings to yourself. There are too many feelings running around in the world.
My parents don’t want me and my boyfriend to be together as he hails from a different state. I can’t leave him and I don’t want to hurt my parents. What should I do? — JS
JS, it had to happen. We lead the world in racism, casteism, communalism, and so it had to follow. Finally, it’s here, ‘stateism’, a form of regional racism. Please understand that right and wrong in this case is very clear. You are right, and your regionally racist parents are wrong. Remember, when a spoilt brat was misbehaving, instead of censuring him, people around him started negotiating with him? The result was that he got empowered, and grew up to be the tyrant. Pol Pot, and we all know what legacy he left behind in Southeast Asia. Don’t empower your parents. Rebuke them. Censure them. Find a way to make them understand. Maybe tell your dad, you won’t let him watch any cricket match until he snaps out of his bigoted thinking.
I am 25, and my girlfriend broke up with me six months back. I’ve been unable to move on; I think about her all day. I’ve shifted to a new city and I don’t have any friends. Instagram, Snapchat aren’t helpful and I’m not made for Tinder. Please help me move on. — Aman Aman, I think your situation was explained beautifully by Anne M. Ugooodoo. In the book, HowUgooodoo, Do You Do?, Anne explained that after a break-up, you need a period of time for grieving. This time could be six months, nine months, or as in my case, seven minutes. You have to — and this is as important as wearing an underwear before attempting a pole vault — get the whole affair out of your system. Anne calls it a ‘Love-Vomit’. Only then can you move on. Let the heart heal. Then your body will have an amazing positive energy about it.
A few days back, my girlfriend of eight months stopped talking to me. But, she was talking to a guy over the phone for hours. Once, while he was talking to her, I called him to find out who he was and he made me speak to her on a conference call. She told me he was a school friend. Please help. — SE
SE, sorry, which part of her behaviour do you not understand? See, I can’t understand, why you can’t understand, cause I’ve understood immediately. She has dropped you from the playing eleven. Okay, I’ll try and make it more sensitive and less painful. You’ve been fired, sacked, given your marching orders, laid off. Have to be blunt, mate. I know this for a fact, because I react the same way every day. The difference is: I react to hot sun, by turning away from it; and she’s turning away from you. She has stopped taking your calls, so why do you need to keep calling her? For practice? Please get the message, and move on.