FOR­MULA ONE FAN­DOM

India Today - - SIGNATURE -

Af­ter the cham­pagne has been sprayed and the che­quered flag has been waved, it is clear why In­dia loves F1 and sim­i­lar for­eign-made ex­trav­a­gan­zas. It’s noisy. There are no traf­fic lights. It’s easy to ogle at the girls. And there’s an­other rea­son. It tells us a lot about our politi­cians. No, not how su­pe­rior they might think they may be to item girls, which Ajay Maken thinks is the term for the grid girls and the rea­son why he was not in­vited. But an F1 pro­vides a splen­did environment in which to find out how they be­have. For in­stance, those of us (and in this I in­clude a vast sec­tion of the BJP) who are flummoxed by L.K. Ad­vani’s re­fusal to re­tire, only have to look at Michael Schu­macher’s ca­reer. If Schu­macher can come out of re­tire­ment and drive for Mercedes why can’t Ad­vani go on yet an­other ya­tra? Se­bas­tian Vet­tel or Jen­son But­ton don’t com­plain, why should BJP’S peren­ni­ally young lead­ers? And un­like Schu­macher, Ad­vani is kind enough to give them a ride in his Volvo. Now it’s not his fault if the air-con­di­tion­ing did not work and Arun Jait­ley and Sushma Swaraj felt suf­fo­cated. Tsk, tsk. And those who’ve ques­tioned why So­nia G is so mys­te­ri­ous, es­pe­cially about her hos­pi­tal bills, re­lax. So is an­other pow­er­ful wo­man, Lady G. It has noth­ing to do with Gaga be­ing of Ital­ian ex­trac­tion, but every­thing to do with her desi-fi­ca­tion. Tri­colour bun, sitar as ac­com­pa­ni­ment, hand­i­crafts shop­ping at Dilli Haat. We na­tives are over­whelmed.

There are other F1 com­par­isons which will help us un­der­stand our rul­ing elite much bet­ter.

Why Rahul Gandhi is never ready. Now we know. It’s per­for­mance anx­i­ety. Look at Me­tal­lica. They re­fused to per­form in front of dis­or­derly crowds in Gur­gaon but were per­fectly in tune in more ur­bane Ban­ga­lore for over three hours. Please, peo­ple, give the young man some breath­ing space. Stand back and don’t scream.

What Mayawati re­ally, re­ally wants. She loved that the en­tire stretch of 5.14 km was named af­ter Gau­tam Bud­dha, one of her icons, and that she got the chance to in­au­gu­rate it in front of a gob­s­macked global au­di­ence. But what she would re­ally like is for it now to be used for an ele­phant race.

Why is Digvi­jaya Singh in pol­i­tics. Purely for our en­ter­tain­ment. Just like Mr Bean a.k.a. Rowan Atkin­son, who stood in the grand­stand and pulled enough funny faces to dis­tract peo­ple from the Felipe Massa-lewis Hamil­ton crash.

Why is Pranab Mukher­jee so im­por­tant. Clearly be­cause he’s In­dia’s Bernie Ec­cle­stone. He’s age­less, he con­trols the purse strings, and he has quite a tem­per. Don’t cross him or else.

Why do we need Priyanka Gandhi. Silly ques­tion. How else would we no­tice an ap­pendage like leather-clad Robert Vadra wan­der­ing around the F1 af­ter-party dressed as a biker dude? He ex­ists be­cause she does.

Is the Far-far-far Left rel­e­vant. Of course. Who else will talk about In­dia’s poverty ev­ery time we man­age to hold a world class event? Why should we deny our­selves the de­lights of lis­ten­ing to Shekhar Ka­pur, the newly minted male Arundhati Roy. You never know: Ka­pur could go so far left he might even turn right.

IF SCHU­MACHER CAN COME OUT OF RE­TIRE­MENT AND DRIVE FOR MERCEDES WHY CAN’T AD­VANI GO ON YET AN­OTHER YA­TRA?

SAU­RABH SINGH / www.in­di­a­to­day­im­ages.com

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from India

© PressReader. All rights reserved.