ALL IN A DAY’S WORK
Because a lunar eclipse was scheduled for that evening, I told my students that their homework assignment was to go look at it. One of them asked, “What channel is it on?” S.A.
Our professor of medicine explained to our batch of house surgeons how to make patients’ case records. “Record the condition of higher functions like the state of consciousness, cognition, speech, etc, first,” he said. “Only then should you record motor activities, intake of food and other lower functions.”
The next day, the professor asked one of us to present the case record of a patient transferred from casualty. Obviously, my colleague took the lesson too literally. “The patient is unconscious, speechless,” he wrote. “He is not moving his limbs, not taking food or water...”
Dr N.M. Mohammed Ali, Thiruvananthapuram
Interviewer: What would you say are your strengths? Interviewee: Arms and back.
To register her child for our school, a mother filled out a number of forms. For the question “Language spoken at home,” she’d answered: “Generally good language, unless I get mad.”
Former American college football TV announcer Craig James was celebrated by a website with a name that should tell you what it thinks of him: awfulannouncing.com Here are a few gems from James: “If he wasn’t a quiet guy, he would be a vocal leader.”
“It’s not even close, and it’s really close right now.”
“The whole complexity
of this game could’ve been different.”
“I’m all for it. I’m not completely against it.”
After handing in my final exam on moral theology at the Gregorian University in Rome, I watched nervously as the professor, a priest, put his head in his hands and began to shake it back and forth.
“I’m sorry, Father,” I said. “I guess I’m not expressing myself very well in Italian.”
“Oh no, Father, you speak Italian quite well,” he responded. “You simply have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Fr Kevin Donovan
I called a patient to confirm an appointment with the doctor I work for, and her husband answered. “Hello, may I speak with Anna?” “Who?” he said. “Anna.” “Santa?” “No, Anna.” “Who is this?” “This is the doctor’s office calling for Anna.” “Who?” “The doctor’s office calling for Anna!”
“Oh, Anna,” he said. “You better talk to me; Anna’s hard of hearing.”
“Well done, well-done, or well, done?”