ENGLISH RE­DE­FINED

Reader's Digest (India) - - Kindness -

When the Wash­ing­ton Post chal­lenged its read­ers to sup­ply al­ter­nate mean­ings for any word in the dic­tionary, en­tries in­cluded:

Cof­fee ( n.): A per­son who is coughed upon.

Flab­ber­gasted ( adj.): To be ap­palled over how much weight you have gained.

Es­planade ( v.): To at­tempt an ex­pla­na­tion while drunk.

Neg­li­gent ( adj.): When you ab­sent-mind­edly an­swer the door in your nightie.

Lymph ( v.): To walk with a lisp.

Balder­dash ( n.): Rapidly re­ced­ing hair­line.

Oys­ter ( n.): A per­son who sprinkles his con­ver­sa­tion with Yid­dish ex­pres­sions.

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