Heat up your man!
Salome Mitter on how to stop being treated like yesterday’s leftovers, and leave him steaming!
Always clothed for action in your homely, faded nightie? Just lie there looking at the ceiling, thinking about the mounting items on your ‘To Do’ list? And then fret and fume that you feel like a frump and he’s begun treating you like yesterday’s cold dal? Desist, my dearies! Wake up from that comfortable stupor every once in a while. Knock his socks off. And your own too – there’s nothing better than surprising yourself! Here are a few suggestions as you shake up the scene…
Neglect a plant, it withers. Put sex back on the front-burner. At least once a week! Note it down, if you must, amidst your list of ‘Very Important Things To Do’. Set a reminder on your phone. Just the thought of it, will unknowingly get you into the mood in advance. Start the foreplay with your man way before you’ll reach the bedroom. Sext, leave hints, kiss him bye in the morning with a li’l tongue thrown in. That should get his eyes popping! Throw on a red, slinky nightgown
when you are home and carry on the magical foreplay. A touch where he least expects it, a lick that drives him crazy because it’s on his inner thigh, his stomach, his neck… every sensitive spot but where he’s dying to have it!
How about inflaming him once in a while by being less sweet and tender, and more bad and bold? Talk dirrrty. Well, at least talk hot to start off with. Compliment him; go for specifics when you can. Share your lascivious thoughts. Watch his eyes widen and his breath come quicker, as you drop that ‘I’m a good girl’ demeanour and show him just how bad you can get. Guaranteed turn-on stuff, this; for the both of you.
Let him see your comfort with your own body. Let your fingers trail along your pleasure spots, whether your earlobes, or the backs of your knees. Watching you able to pleasure yourself can be a huge turn-on for him, and he will soon want to join in the game.
Remember the times early on in the relationship, when the urge was so strong, you literally jumped on each other when you laid eyes on each other? Shock him one fine evening after work by pulling off the same ‘I gotta have you now!’ move. His jaw will drop in shock to be replaced by a look of pure glee.
Ditch your normal polite persona. Timid suggestions are boring. Throw on a cloak of confidence and tell him in no uncertain terms what you want. A woman who knows what she desires and is not afraid to take control, can be hugely sexy for her man. It will be empowering for your own sexuality too. And the biggest bonus: A happily satisfied you!
Show him occasionally that porn needn’t be a furtive activity that he has to indulge in sneakily. Go ahead and suggest you watch a couple of scenes together and then take his breath away as you copy a few of those raunchy moves. You taking control can be extremely erotic for him.
Reach out and touch him, smooch hard, let him know you have desires just like he does.
Once in a while, ditch the normal routine that you and your man unknowingly slip into. Just mix things up a little. Pull off a striptease if you feel up to it. Or give him a lap-dance. You can add further interest by making it a ‘hands off’ thing – he can look but not touch. Guaranteed to drive him bonkers!
Show him your needs; it doesn’t always have to be about him making the first move. Reach out and touch him, smooch hard, let him know you have desires just like he does. Amp things up by adding a little rough play. Let him know that he does not have to treat you like a delicate doll; a bit of wild passion never hurt anyone. A scratch here, a nip there, and the temperature will soar!
Fantasy lists can be an exciting way to share with each other your deeper desires. Sometimes it is easier to jot down stuff we would like, but are unable to speak about without embarrassment. Make it a fun little exercise. Sit down and create your separate lists of fantasies, things you really wish your partner would do for you. Then swap lists and take it from there. Some of the stuff might be out of your comfort zone altogether and those you can safely skip. Some items on the wish lists, though, will be absolutely doable and hugely sexy too.
…And, before you know it, the ‘cold dal’ perception has been replaced by ‘fiery sizzler’!