Distance can sneak in between a couple before they even realise it.
hang out independently, this occasional separate socialising might just grow into a pattern where couples end up spending every weekend away from each other. Not a healthy situation when this time could instead be spent bonding together.
Being devoted parents is a wonderful thing but the strength of a family stems from the relationship between spouses. It’s more important for spouses to put each other first in a marriage, rather than their children. Giving children prime importance over each other would only lead to spouses feeling resentful and estranged from each other, and also lead to children growing demanding and anxious.
Sexual intimacy dwindling between you? Loss of interest and a lack of regular intimacy is a definite indicator of trouble as sex cannot be underestimated for its power to bind a couple powerfully. Being stuck in a pattern where one distances himself and the other chases is a key reason for divorce, as it eats away at trust and love. This unhealthy situation creates disharmony, while blaming the other only aggravates the issues and makes a compromise or apology even harder to summon up. WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH… So what if your relationship is already on rocky ground? Some damage control could just mend the gaping holes. Marriages can survive storms and
what’s more, even emerge stronger, if we work towards it.
Rule No.1 – Bite your tongue and hold back the criticism. Talking about issues in a non-accusatory manner will prove way more helpful than arguing and attacking your spouse. For instance, telling your spouse that you are upset that he didn’t tell you about the call from his ex, given you had agreed to be honest with each other, will be more beneficial than accusing him of never having the ability to tell the truth!
Secondly, resolve to solve issues when they are fresh and nip the problem in the bud. Carrying the weight of resentment is infinitely more dangerous to a relationship than trying to avoid conflict altogether. That would only lead the relationship to stagnate. Instead learn the correct way to express your issues. Don’t be defensive and definitely stay away from using sarcasm or showing scorn for your partner. Watch out for those non-verbal cues as well, such as rolling your eyes. Up the hugs as well as the sex. Touch not only calms and reduces pain, it diminishes stress, increases well-being and builds bonding.
On an emotional level, learn to look for and appreciate the good qualities in your spouse. Express your gratitude for the caring things your partner does. Instead of focusing on all the ways that you differ, find and revel in your mutual similarities. It’s when we learn to take responsibility for our own actions, and start to accept our spouse and practise compassion, that our marriage will truly live, despite the inevitable differences.