Get Out Of Vic­tim­hood

The Economic Times - - Breaking Ideas -

CHAN­DER GUPTA

Re­cently an ac­quain­tance in a govern­ment job got trans­ferred to an unglamorous place far away from where his son was study­ing. He did not get any place of his choice for the fourth time in a row. As all his hopes were dashed, he fell into a melan­choly mood, re­lent­lessly rue­ing his ill fate. He imag­ined him­self to be a vic­tim of the sys­tem. Most of us are prone to har­bour­ing thoughts of vic­tim­hood of one kind or the other. Many a time we blame our fate, at oth­ers we slam the sys­tem. Some­times cir­cum­stances be­come our ‘en­emy’. We make a habit of sulk­ing with the no­tion that we are vic­timised by the sys­tem, dis­crim­i­nated against by divin­ity. Neg­a­tive thoughts over­whelm you. The mind of the per­son who feels vic­timised be­comes ag­i­tated with help­less­ness. The ‘vic­tim’, dis­play­ing self-pity to the hilt, vainly at­tempts to in­voke the sen­ti­ments of sym­pa­thy from one and all.

Feel­ings of vic­tim­hood low­ers your morale and con­fi­dence. Then in­stead of fac­ing chal­lenges bravely, you only make things worse. You can­not ex­tri­cate your­self from the vi­cious web spun by your own neg­a­tiv­ity. Your po­si­tion is fur­ther weak­ened and be­comes sus­cep­ti­ble to fur­ther ‘vic­tim­i­sa­tion’. You be­come a vic­tim of imag­i­nary vic­tim­hood.

The sooner you free your­self from the ir­ra­tional downward spi­ral of vic­tim­hood the bet­ter. If we stay pos­i­tive, the out­come will even­tu­ally be pos­i­tive.

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