If statue-statue is the name of the game, then we may as well spend a few more crores to accessorise the world’s tallest statues with the world’s biggest anti-pollution masks
At our age the only direction we can grow in is sideways.’
Over the years, I have noticed that politics has affected our family on a deeply personal level. When Manmohan Singh was the Prime Minister, my in-laws dancing to the tune of Singh is King would bully my meeker Gujarati relatives, but after Modiji has taken over, the Gujjus are ready with snappy comebacks.
A belligerent Biren Bhai retorts, ‘What do you know about business? Let me tell you all great businessmen in India — Ambani, Adani, Kotak — are all Gujarati! You people may have muscle power but we have brain power. My bapuji always used to say, “In business, Sindhis sell and Punjabis buy, but the middle person who makes a profit is none other than a Gujarati.”’
Unfortunately since Biren Bhai has not begun consuming the Height Increaser pills, he is still considerably tinier than Vinay mama. And before mamaji turns him from a spongy khaman into a deflated thepla, the man of the house quickly leads him away.
I look at my nani and sigh, ‘Don’t feel bad Nani, but really Biren Bhai is the reason why I think ants are better than uncles.’
My poor pun literally falls on deaf ears as Nani has left her hearing aid at home, so off I go to grab, if not the tallest, but definitely the largest drink I can get.
Sometimes you do need to pour some Scotch on the rocks to fill your jar of well-being right up to the brim.