If statue-statue is the name of the game, then we may as well spend a few more crores to ac­ces­sorise the world’s tallest stat­ues with the world’s big­gest anti-pol­lu­tion masks

The Times of India (New Delhi edition) - - SUNDAY SPECIAL -

At our age the only di­rec­tion we can grow in is side­ways.’

Over the years, I have no­ticed that pol­i­tics has af­fected our fam­ily on a deeply per­sonal level. When Man­mo­han Singh was the Prime Min­is­ter, my in-laws danc­ing to the tune of Singh is King would bully my meeker Gu­jarati rel­a­tives, but af­ter Modiji has taken over, the Gu­jjus are ready with snappy come­backs.

A bel­liger­ent Biren Bhai re­torts, ‘What do you know about busi­ness? Let me tell you all great busi­ness­men in In­dia — Am­bani, Adani, Ko­tak — are all Gu­jarati! You peo­ple may have mus­cle power but we have brain power. My ba­puji al­ways used to say, “In busi­ness, Sind­his sell and Pun­jabis buy, but the mid­dle per­son who makes a profit is none other than a Gu­jarati.”’

Un­for­tu­nately since Biren Bhai has not be­gun con­sum­ing the Height In­creaser pills, he is still con­sid­er­ably tinier than Vi­nay mama. And be­fore ma­maji turns him from a spongy khaman into a de­flated the­pla, the man of the house quickly leads him away.

I look at my nani and sigh, ‘Don’t feel bad Nani, but re­ally Biren Bhai is the rea­son why I think ants are bet­ter than un­cles.’

My poor pun lit­er­ally falls on deaf ears as Nani has left her hear­ing aid at home, so off I go to grab, if not the tallest, but def­i­nitely the largest drink I can get.

Some­times you do need to pour some Scotch on the rocks to fill your jar of well-be­ing right up to the brim.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from India

© PressReader. All rights reserved.