I LOVE YOU
But more like a friend.
My wife and I are struggling. She says, "I love you, but more like a friend!" These were the utterances from the couples married for years. In our modern culture of equality, polarity gets hammered in beautiful relationship. Is it women's empowerment in this 21st century?
How to further your love-life in such a ticklish situation? How to take control? How to lead her, open her sensuality and trust her? How to enable her to be ecstatically happy and relaxed? And make her restore your love-life as she has started treating you like her friend. How to encase this phenomenon? How not to feel offended and not feel bad and take responsibility? This situation is spreading like a jungle fire in the world today.
You can get her to talk and discuss by being easy to try new skills, not found in any sexual books. You can have a hot sensual masculinefeminine love relationship and help her to make your woman the way you love her.
I'm sorry to hear all this when men talk about their women's behaviour.
She shows little interest in lovemaking
Says one of the men on my mobile, "In fact, last night she snuggled, it was cold, blatant, rubbish behaviour. For many women, all over the world, there's a lack of polarity and possibly that sex isn't really feeling that 'great' for her compared to 'you'. She's going to lose interest in lovemaking, in sex! Does she get orgasm when she has sex? What do you usually do together and how frequently do you? Do you foreplay before the act? Do you really enjoy the foreplay, kissing, ejaculation?
Last night, I lovingly brought a bouquet of flowers and with a romantic phase of mind invited her to come and she surprisingly let me get started. Then all of a 'sudden' she said she had some urgent piece of work and immediately went away!
Her body has natural urges but her mind overrides them because she's emotionally checking out of your relationship. That's why she is pulling away every time. Also, if sex is not that satisfying to her, she won't be eager! "We don't fight but she says she is 'unhappy' and has been in this state for a long time. What is she unhappy about? She says "It's her, not me!”
"Oh it's 'you too, darling. It's not just her!" Though she's likely evolved since you two got together, and perhaps she feels disconnected from you. Just exacerbated by the lack of physical and emotional intimacy, her feelings are definitely stemming from her interactions with you.
She's just not feeling like she can be honest and tell you the truth, which means her frustrations are likely about sex and may be money - you're not earning enough!
She is doing too much, you're not attractive to her anymore. Have you taken care of yourself? You're not sexually satisfying her. She's bored out of her mind with lovemaking! These are pretty classic issues in a long-term relationship and I'm sure she feels guilty even thinking about them. It's weird but she talks most of the time like everything is okay even about the future but not about relationship. When it comes to sex she says she just doesn't want to!
She doesn't want to because she's 'terribly dissatisfied' and doesn't want to hurt your feelings. She thinks you can't meet her needs based on past performance! You can see why she doesn't want to talk about it. There's a problem of other issues feeding into her dissatisfaction. Here's what I can tell you. From my extensive experience as a lecturer, yoga teacher and, for more than four decades and a counsellor to many Institutions, and my own vantage point talking to a LOT of women all over the world about their sex lives and relationships at very cordial confidential and honest levels. It's that your woman is looking for a way out of your door!
She's possibly biding her time, getting her stuff in order, what if she's done with you? Checking out emotionally, saying it's, "her not you" – classic signs! Now, what the hack do you do to save this? And I assume you still love her and want to make everything in order and at the right place.
I notice that, when a guy realises, his marriage is in danger, she has already put her foot out of the door! Already dating someone else and they're just waking up to the fact that she's not satisfied. It is blindsides for men which is too little too late.
Now I could be wrong! It's not like you have given me much info. However, just from what you've said, this is a major issue and you need to get on it immediately.
It's time to sit down with her. You must find a way to make it safe for her to tell you the real and complete truth about what's going on. Just listen – calmly and patiently. Ask clarifying questions? Pull her out... Don't let her hide her feelings. You are the man. Handle it. Don't freak out, just hear her and give yourself 'time to digest'.
Your Patience Vs her freedom
Tell her that you want to make her happy. And you know her needs have changed over the years you've been together. You want to sit down, over evening tea or dinner and do the work book together. All you have to do is think, ponder about what are the most important things for you in being in a relationship. One of the women, when I interacted with her, immediately put forward the following:
“I want my freedom first. My relationship value is my personal freedom. We live in the 21st centuryl It's my prerogative.” These expressions made me to ponder over and think. These types of women want an opportunity to have some life experiences! Some do it confidentially as these types of women seem extroverted and are begging this experience openly. I directed her husband to ask her, "What does this 'freedom' mean to you?"
Marriage a distinct Institution What she wanted from a marriage in her 20s. It will be totally different than in her 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s so on. Ask her with patience, tenacity and wisdom. "What do you need sexually?” "What is your desire?" "How much foreplay and aftermath you want?"
"Do you want more orgasms or multiorgasms?" It's the phase of life to be more honest, how muchyou're true to yourself.
"If still she wants to quit, allow her to kiss your marriage and say goodbye!" I know, when I advised him, these lines sounded harsh, but it's the truth. And you can handle it with more consciousness, wisdom and freedom.
I received the e-mail after a week's time. It said that they're a happy couple.
THESE EXPRESSIONS MADE ME TO PONDER OVER AND THINK. THESE TYPES OF WOMEN WANT AN OPPORTUNITY TO HAVE SOME LIFE EXPERIENCES! SOME DO IT CONFIDENTIALLY AS THESE TYPES OF WOMEN SEEM EXTROVERTED AND ARE BEGGING THIS EXPERIENCE OPENLY.