MY FAM­ILY, MY FRIENDS AND ME...

Woman's Era - - Contents -

I am a 20-year-old col­lege stu­dent. I live with my par­ents, my two elder broth­ers and my large joint fam­ily. I am the only girl in the fam­ily as well as the youngest.

As is to be ex­pected, we al­ways have a lot of peo­ple vis­it­ing us, as all of us have friends who come to visit us. One such vis­i­tor was a man whom my un­cles had met at a wed­ding and had taken a lik­ing to. When he had told them that he had come to the city on trans­fer and that he hadn’t brought his fam­ily with him, they had in­vited him home and after that he be­gan to visit us fre­quently.

Be­cause he cracked good jokes he be­came very popular with the whole fam­ily. But some­how I never liked him be­cause to me he seemed sly and al­ways seemed to be watch­ing ev­ery­one and ob­serv­ing things about the fam­ily. So, I was rather re­lieved when he sud­denly stopped com­ing home. My un­cles ini­tially won­dered at this but then de­cided that his fam­ily had prob­a­bly joined him and that he had be­come busy.

Some months after this, a ter­ri­ble thing hap­pened. One night when all of us were asleep, a group of thieves got into the house, sprayed us with some sort of medicine that made us sleep soundly and looted the house of ev­ery­thing of value. They ob­vi­ously knew all about us, where we slept, the kind of locks on the doors, what valu­ables we kept at home and where – ev­ery­thing.

All of us are dis­traught and the po­lice have been called in. But I am sure that the man who used to visit us is be­hind the theft. I have no proof, but some­thing makes me sure. I am ner­vous of telling the po­lice. What should I do?

There is a good chance that your sus­pi­cions may be proved right. So why don’t you speak to your un­cles who first be­came friendly with this man? Tell them about your sus­pi­cions and ask them how they be­came friendly with this man. Had any friend in­tro­duced him to them or had this just be­gun to talk to him at that wed­ding?

Once you tell them about your sus­pi­cions, they can de­cide if they should tell the po­lice about the man.

I am a 20-year-old col­lege stu­dent. Like most col­lege stu­dents, I am apart of a group of stu­dents who are friends. There are both girls and boys in this group and we have a lot of fun to­gether, we study to­gether, ex­change notes and help each other. We have all been friends for three years and we know each other very well.

But there is one boy in the group with whom I have not been com­fort­able from the be­gin­ning. I don’t know why but I do not trust him and though he is part of our group, I avoid him as much as pos­si­ble.

I have never spo­ken about my dis­like and even slight fear of this boy to any­one, but re­cently I did so to a girl in our group. This was when she told me that this boy had told an­other boy in our group that he was fond of me.

Though I at once told this girl not to tell any­one what I had said, she told an­other girl who told some­one else in our group and soon the boy con­cerned had heard what I had said.

Now, he is fu­ri­ous with me and doesn’t talk to me. I don’t re­ally care if he doesn’t, but I am now feel­ing ter­ri­fied of him. What should I do?

Young peo­ple are usu­ally very sen­si­tive and quick to take um­brage. So this young man is likely to be feel­ing a mix­ture of anger and em­bar­rass­ment. It would there­fore be a good ges­ture on your part to apol­o­gise to him in the pres­ence of oth­ers in your group and say that you don’t know why you said some­thing so stupid. After this you should make an ef­fort to be friendly with him.

But though this may seem con­tra­dic­tory, you should also be care­ful where this youth is con­cerned. You say that you have never been com­fort­able with him and such feel­ings are of­ten warn­ings that come from a third sense within us.

I have a very good friend whom I have known from child­hood. Our par­ents are friends too and be­cause of this we have grown even closer. We have also gone to the same school and col­lege, but I have al­ways known that my friend’s par­ents are not very well off and that my par­ents have of­ten helped her par­ents with money.

Both my friend and I are good at stud­ies and, since we have al­ways taken the same sub­jects, we have al­ways vied for the first place in stud­ies.

Now, we both have fin­ished our post-grad­u­a­tion and I have got bet­ter marks this time. We ap­plied for jobs in the same com­pany which has a very good rep­u­ta­tion in our field and both of us have passed the pre­lim­i­nary stages of se­lec­tion.

Now, I have come to know from an older friend who works in the same com­pany that there is only one va­cancy and that my friend and I are the only ones un­der con­sid­er­a­tion. He also told me that since I have the bet­ter marks, I am likely to be se­lected.

The com­pany is a very good one and who­ever is taken on will be set for life in an ex­cel­lent and per­ma­nent job. But my friend needs the job more than I do. Should I give up the job for her sake? I am con­fi­dent that I will get an­other job, though it might not be as good as this one. I plan to never tell her what I have done to en­sure that she does not feel em­bar­rassed or be­holden to me.

It would be very large-hearted of you to give up this job and let your friend have it, with­out let­ting her know that you have given up such a good job for her sake. But have you thought of the pos­si­bil­ity that your friend might have too much self-re­spect to ac­cept this sac­ri­fice from you?

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