AS YOU SAY
NO EGO FOR A GOOD MARRIAGE
This is with reference to the article Qualities Every Girl Looks For in August II issue. Even after several years of marriage with ups and downs in life, a girl’s expectations from her husband is 'his' unconditional love and affection for her. A shoulder to lean on and express her joys and sorrows and soothing words while in distress or illhealth, gives the girl the strength and moral support to battle her problems with ease.
Satisfaction, honesty and compatibility without EGO is the key to successful marriage and it is these qualities which help the partners tide over difficult situations that arise in a family. Arguments between spouses help express one’s feelings and develop a 'bonding relationship', but arguments should never proceed and prolong or become furious as this might spark a break in their smooth relationship.
woman, could of a young especially in foreign facts. one lakh rupees then faster than fetch at least snatchers had umours run recent chain , proved by markets. The overnight This has been , choppers chopping braid of braid turned into guard their incidents in north began to engulfed women girls too commodi ty. are and which have Rumours a precious like subsided and with fear. braids incidents Indian states simply these the fire. It However, choppers when further stoking eventuall booty. of Indian y a large chunk ceased for their shows that superstitio n. buyers to get make easy and still sunk in failed was to motive society is incidents have 75 Then the More than with Haryana money. are three states, quick incidents occurred in a mob killed present superstitio n and It is unfortunate list. In Agra The she d more by topping the suspicion that surrounde Psycholog ists on girl. at large. group an old woman of a are to chop braid culprits simply as intending problem any was dismiss this have ION SUPERSTIT they too don’t illusion. But such – to stop AND practical solution on-born superstiti RUMOURS or dispel now incidents families are give and their chopping for braid fear. Victims and Ojhas Victims of s – that they g pundits all statement contactin that despite and It is an irony almost similar incident rs, TV before the remedies. newspape had fainted who progress, corner of recognise scientific nook that our country which not and hence could similarity and every ments braid. Another channels advertise in chopped their poor and locality abound who of them are any witch- masters is that all exorcists and for of remedies provide easy illiterate. incidents the ago, similar claim to haunting Some years from problems is were reported scores of motive sole chopping people. Their money. of braid rumoured then It was common make in people and – some states. demand the were in huge to fool of society big chunk that braids provided this as these How long problems in countries neckdeep foreign industy for wig-making which is already to such raw material that could to suffer due a chemical continue is trying to progress – will extracting and It was also hair black. incidents? turn grey braid, that a single rumoured GEAR N IN REVERSE - EDUCATIO poor back hail from those who be the worst cabinet to They will the Union grounds? schooling their ecision of policy in may leave detention and n. This is no- sufferers scrap the is a step frustratio of eighth class midway out on the future shadow schools till detention a No- to cast students. direction. bound in reverse Right aged under the disadvant Delhi well to become one of instituted of the South policy was to check school e, will (RTE) Act, Meanwhil on (SDMC) Education to Advisory Board Corporati The Central Municipal in English scrap education dropouts. year to primary the next advised last impart schools from Education at departure from of the ground its policy on medium a detention This again municipal the no- lower learning is resulting in session. that of rules that it was poor quality party of (the avowed policy . But it is the BJP’S Delhi) outcomes rather ns in through must be blamed corporatio glory past teachers that reinstatin g India’s hell-bent - seem students. . They basic than end exami education cing year- school right from is Macaulay Reintrodu classes glorify fact that fifth and eighth to the the superpowers nations for forgetting learning , municipal ity to improve education in the students not going transfer of the or lower. It will simply most from middle outcomes students, come primary to and ility of learning shcools responsib Students class families off the hook. middle themselve s not so letting teachers backgroun d teachers are lly well-off school language. economica English from fail hurdle in this pass- well-versed womanse ra.com W overcome about to: editor@ can tuition. But what write through private should suffer the ignominy of superstition and rumours. Rumours and Superstitions – Editorial August II. The victims of such maladies are mainly the illiterate, poor, the downtrodden, partly the literate and those who belong to the higher strata of society. One of the main culprits fomenting and planting such beliefs of superstitious practices in the minds of the gullible masses are the fake swamijis and the so-called black magic practitioners who do all this only to hoodwink the people with an ulterior motive to eke out money.
They initially create a fear psychosis in the minds of those who approach them for remedy and make them believe that unless they do what all those fake poojaries command, their lives and that of their family members would be in peril.
Unable to take any chance, people fall prey to their gimmicks
RETAINING INDIVIDUALITY IN RELATIONSHIPS
Interestingly, there is a common thread running through four different articles (August – II issue) stressing the need for each partner to retain their individuality in a relationship.
In Individualism in Relationships, the author has correctly emphasised on making a distinction between “me” and “we” and not to sacrifice one’s interests, opinion and time always just to oblige the partner.
“Defiant Dreams” elaborates on how a person can still take care of the family, at the same time retaining one’s individuality and be indepen dent enough to fulfil their own professional and personal aspirations.
“When it is the Time...” talks about asserting one’s individuality and moving on in case it is felt that compatibility is a serious issue and relationship has become a burden.
The author answers the question “Can a Husband be his Wife’s Best Friend” in the negative primarily because these are two different individuals whose interests are different. and shell out the amount demanded by them to propitiate gods that were really ‘angry’ with them.
In the case of braid-chopping, it is highly probable that a miscreant might have done this for joke or to create a panic in the minds of people, unmindful of the repercussions such acts would have in society. Such one-time incident is sufficient for the rumour mongers to add additional spice and spread them in the society like a wild fire. It is the same case as far as the so- called black magic persons are concerned. Suspecting some of them to be involved in exorcism and witchcraft, the mobs go to the extent of even lynching them.
While it is a universally accepted
There is no doubt that a healthy and successful relationship can occur only when each partner accepts and respects the individuality of the other and they make efforts to understand each other’s different interests as well as give space and support to one another in pursuing them.
Of course, if there are some common interests, there is no doubt a lot of enjoyment to be gained in pursuing the same together and the bonding improves.
However, what is also very important is that in a mature relation ship, each partner is supremely confident that when they face a crunch situation, the unconditional and unflinching support of the other is always available so that they work together to come out of the crisis. There is no hesitation during such times in helping out one another, irrespective of individual difference of opinions.
Though the importance of individuality cannot be under - estimated in a relationship, a healthy and successful relationship also requires a lot of “give and take” and at times the “I” will have to be replaced by “ours” in certain situations.
truth that such exorcists and witch masters are only cheats and moneypullers, people should shun them and stop running to them for remedy at the fall of the cat. The print and electronic media also has a paramount duty in exposing such fake gurus and their crude and dubious practices.
In this context your above editorial which exposes the evils of rumours and superstitions deserves accolades
HOBBIES ENRICH OUR PERSPECTIVE
unlike in the oday’s parents, welcome do not earlier days, school holidays. children’s their said Sarita get so bored,” “The kids heads off. They eat our candidly.” to Pai plans to make holiday Reading of the So, we have re,” she somewhe out a take them to be “And it has added ruefully. in India itself travelling as foreign trip.. is passé!” at all. this before, It wasn’t like classes to eagerly for Children waited exciting things and all the get over, HOBBIES! do. They had they would is one tely, if there Unfortuna which has our daily life article titled Transform aspect of the modern thanks to taken a beating, phones, iInternet, mobile age of TV, of the other “gifts” pads and it is hobbies. digital world, becoming Hobbies are in today’s almost obsolete cultivates society. Nobody for one has time these, no few even these, and their valuable Your Life brings out recognise richness of on to the contributi of for the status our lives. down qualify we settled does not but if you In earlier days, enjoyable individual an for that bake and leisure with hobby grind, during our and like knitting, to chop Sunday meal for al activity love up a , recreation collecting whip stamp sauté and indeed, your crochet, tatting, instrumen ts family, well, etc. it is , musical your scrap books, on our brings we have time hobby! of that a hobby Now, when ourselves in front Did you know plonk These hands, we whatever benefits? watch health activities are mindlessly Our great time the important the TV and show us. leisure decides to enjoyable to lower high the idiot box and play lly proven and their i-pads scientifica down total cortisol children open settle pressure, and women blood waist video games, and Twitter. gly, even index. Whatsapp interestin mass on s do and body to gossip youngster ence is most circumfer The sad part are missing. what they not even know reasons why hobbies are important in the lives of children and adults. ( WE August I, 2017). ( 1) We can meet people. Pursue hobby that requires us to come in contact with other people: team sports, a sewing class, music class or pottery-making through community education. ( 2) Hobbies build self- esteem. If we dislike our job or are unhappy in our relationship, developing a hobby can be a way to build our back- up. Take up knitting or singing or playing musical instrument and the small improvements we make from week to week are enough to sustain us. Sometimes hobbies give us one solid thing to feel good about. They are ways to relieve stress. (3) We can avoid boredom which causes many ills. Hobbies enrich our perspective, "the more we know, the more we grow". – Beena Mathur, Pune. BEWARE OF FAKE SANYASIS This has reference to your editorial Bad Days for Sanyasis published in the June I 2017 issue of Woman’s Era. These fake sanyasis do not tie the nuptial knot just to avoid the responsibility of familial life. They pretend that they are leading a spiritual life by giving sermons and donning the ochre attire.
Many god-fearing women throng these wily and naughty sanyasis for fast amelioration of their variegated woes.
Many women pray for a male child to propagate their vansh-vrikshya i.e. family tree. And these ghoulish brutes who are always on the lookout for such opportunities, grab them in both hands literally and ensure to entrap them and verily exploit them sexually and blackmail them to satiate their never- ending carnal desires.
Now, the time is not good for these chamelion- like colourful sanyasis and their empires are falling like the proverbial nine pins!
Our law-enforcing agencies should remain vigilant all the time and nab these culprits at the earliest.
More importantly, womenfolk should be properly informed and educated so that they can identify a fake Sanyasi.
– Jyotiranjan Biswal, Odisha.