Repentance For a One-night Stand
Looking back with sorrow.
Lying in the ICU of a hospital, struggling and fighting for life after her third heart attack, Ritika was indulging in reminiscences of yesteryear about her husband Shailesh who divorced her 26 years back. She was badly hurt and did not marry again. The stress, frustration, loneliness and depression affected her health.
Lying in the ICU of a hospital, struggling and fighting for life after her third heart attack, Ritika was indulging in reminiscences of yesteryear about her husband Shailesh who divorced her 26 years back. She was badly hurt and did not marry again. The stress, frustration, loneliness and depression affected her health. Her story:
I met Shailesh 29 years back and we came close to each other almost immediately. I had big dark eyes, fair complexion, very long hair and beautiful pouty lips and a good figure which attracted Shailesh. He himself was a handsome, well-built and well-placed person. When he proposed to me, I agreed and my parents supported me. We got married within a few months of our first meeting.
Married life looked a tremendous opportunity for me to fulfil my dreams. Shailesh was a very loving and devoted husband to begin with. I took advantage of it and started dominating him. But very soon my dreams were shattered as Shailesh did not like being dominated and manoeuvred. He resisted it and started distancing himself from me.
As per my thinking, I soon found Shailesh a self-centred egoistic person who never had a good word
Within three years of marriage our relationship collapsed and I was stamped a divorcee . I told my best friend Snehlata the whole incident when we met a few years after the divorce. After some time Pitambar and I moved outside to a secluded place. Feeling his fingers interlock into mine, my pulse fluttered. The sparks from his touch ran through me. I never meant it to go as far as it did.
for me and always tried to find faults with me. Romance and love evaporated from our life. He started finding faults and shortcomings in me and often admonished me rudely even in front of others. I too started blaming him for something or other and my nagging increased. Our tiffs and fights became too much day by day. Both of us were not willing to adjust or compromise. Our changed behaviour towards each other affected our sex life too and now we cohabited hardly once a month or so when I remained unsatisfied due to poor performance of Shailesh.
My husband's friend Pitambar was a very lively person full of wit and humour. Whenever we met, Pitambar was quick enough to appreciate my looks, dress, talk, smiles and in fact everything about me. He could easily judge my mood and empathised with me and called my husband an uncouth person who could not keep his lovely and pretty wife happy. His narration of small anecdotes always captivated and charmed me. I developed a fascination for him and often fantasised about his company. Gradually I got emotionally attached to him and started comparing him with Shailesh. In my meetings with him I started unwinding myself about our tiffs and the hurt caused to me.
After some time Shailesh had thrown a party to celebrate his promotion. Pitambar was also there. Time vanished for me and the day rolled into evening. The party was in full swing. The guests laughed, conversed and enjoyed the wine, music and of course the food. Shailesh and me looked at each other from a distance when I was laughing and flirting with Pitambar in a corner. Shailesh was busy looking after the guests.
After some time Pitambar and I moved outside to a secluded place. Feeling his fingers interlock into mine, my pulse fluttered. The sparks from his touch ran through me. I never meant it to go as far as it did. The only reason I had let myself get into a such state was that I wanted it. As the heat of passion rose between us, moans escaped from my lips expressing my desire. I was trembling with ecstasy and surrendered and got lost in the bliss.
Soon we joined the party and I started looking after the guests. Shailesh sternly called Pitambar to talk to him after the guests left, but he gave him the slip as he could guess the reason and was never seen again.
Next morning Shailesh confronted me asking about my absence from the party. I boldly admitted that I had a fling with Pitambar. Shailesh told me calmly, "Look, Ritika, I am your husband and you are my wife. Your flirting with other men makes me look like a fool and I will not be made a fool of by you or anybody else.” That very day he filed for divorce. We parted with mutual consent. Within three years of marriage our relationship collapsed and I was stamped a divorcee .
Itold my best friend Snehlata the whole incident when we met a few years after the divorce. Now, I do realise my folly and the wrong which I did by entering into an extramarital relationship even for one time under frustration and dissatisfaction, but am l the only one to be blamed? Why did Shailesh not try to understand me and take care of me? But I am certain now that if I had said sorry and assured him not to repeat it he may have forgiven me, but I was too proud of myself those days. I could never forget Shailesh and his love and devotion for me despite our tiffs and fights. Now, when I am nearing the end of my life, I repent my haughty behaviour and indiscretion. I wish and imagine Shailesh to be sitting by my side holding my hand when I die. The best way to compile inaccurate information that no one wants is to make it up.