TO FLIRT DIS­CREETLY

A flirt does not give him­self out.

Woman's Era - - Short Story - By Prashant Mual

What ex­actly is flirt­ing? Flirt­ing is sim­ply mak­ing some­one feel that you like them in a play­ful way from where you can al­ways step back or go ahead to the re­la­tion­ship. Is flirt­ing easy? Yes, but only if you are not try­ing too hard and go­ing easy about it or sim­ply said you are not des­per­ate. Keep in mind the fol­low­ing three things.

Re­frame the sit­u­a­tions to “She wants you”

The best thing you can do while flirt­ing is in­ter­pret some­thing she says as if she likes you. For ex­am­ple, if she shows you a pic­ture or she dresses up good ac­cuse her for dress­ing up so good for you. Like by say­ing you don’t have to look so good for me. But don’t do it on ev­ery­thing. This can get ir­ri­tat­ing and lame. While do­ing it re­mem­ber to be funny. It’s a way out if things don’t work. Use things she likes and con­nect it to your­self, for ex­am­ple she says “I love kids” re­ply should be like “oh, I know I am such a kid”.

Com­pli­ment with tim­ing

Be ca­sual, don’t over­text, don’t just talk about your­self. Com­pli­ment­ing is the key to make a girl feel good around you, just wait for it. Don’t com­pli­ment any­time, any­where just for the sake of it. For ex­am­ple, if you make the girl laugh out loud look at her and as soon as she stops laugh­ing that’s your time to hit by say­ing things like “Gosh! you look so sexy when you laugh like that”. And with th­ese kinds of com­pli­ments you can al­ways add a ques­tion like “I won­der how good of a kisser you would be”?

Build sex­ual ten­sion

Flirt­ing is a way of telling some­one that you are sex­u­ally avail­able. If you don’t build any sex­ual ten­sion while flirt­ing game over it would just be ca­sual fun you may get friend-zoned too. Re­mem­ber, com­ing out as a guy in tune with his sex­u­al­ity is cool and sexy too, but com­ing out des­per­ate is creepy. To build sex­ual ten­sion you have to be in­no­va­tive with words and replies. For ex­am­ple, tell her that you have a secret but don’t know if you can tell her, and when she gets all des­per­ate about want­ing to know it say “I think you are pretty hot, I feel at­tracted to you” Or be funny and sex­ual at the same time, for ex­am­ple you both are up for a meet­ing and she texts you “I’m com­ing” text back and say “I’m breath­ing heav­ily too”.

My son is three and a half years old. He started speak­ing late – about six months ago. Even now his speech is like a one-and-a-half-year-old kid. I worry about this a lot. Could you please help me.

Some chil­dren be­gin speak­ing late es­pe­cially if you, your hus­band or any­one in ei­ther fam­ily started speak­ing late, for the con­di­tion could be hered­i­tary. An­other rea­son for this de­lay could be that he is not spo­ken to of­ten enough, for ex­am­ple, if he is the only child in a nu­clear fam­ily and you are a work­ing cou­ple. So, ei­ther talk to him as of­ten and as much as pos­si­ble or see to it that he in­ter­acts with other chil­dren in the neigh­bour­hood. There will be a faster and greater im­prove­ment in his speech.

As of now he speaks like a one-and-a-half-year-old child be­cause he has to go through all the stages a child has to go through while learn­ing to speak. One can­not ex­pect him to speak like a three ears old as soon as he learns to speak. If need be, you could take him to an ENT spe­cial­ist and a speech ther­a­pist.

I have a two- year- old son. Please tell me if there is some­thing spe­cial that I must keep in mind so that he has the best of up­bring­ing. I do want him to grow up into a healthy, happy and bal­anced in­di­vid­ual?

The first few years of a child’s life have a strong bear­ing on the rest of his life. It is im­por­tant that you forge a strong par­ent- child bond­ing. Both par­ents should give him as much time, at­ten­tion and care as they can so that he feels loved and se­cure. Teach him things in the form of play and games so that he en­joys learn­ing. Chil­dren of this age are very in­quis­i­tive and keep ask­ing ques­tions night and day. An­swer his queries pa­tiently, how­ever busy you are, for he is most re­cep­tive at this time ad learns things quickly. Also, lis­ten­ing to him is as im­por­tant as speak­ing to him. So, pay at­ten­tion to what he is say­ing. This will im­prove his self-con­fi­dence and sense of self-worth.

My son is in the ninth stan­dard. He spends all his time be­tween school, pri­vate tu­itions and at a tu­ition cen­tre. I feel sorry that he is los­ing out on the fun and play of child­hood, but I do not know how to find a way out of this sit­u­a­tion. The pres­sure of stud­ies is so much and as a par­ent I am ill-equipped to teach him at this stage. I did help with his home­work when he was young.

Time man­age­ment is of key im­por­tance. Help him make a timetable in such a way so that he finds time for out­door ac­tiv­i­ties, en­ter­tain­ment and rest. In­ter­min­gling with friends and re­lax­ing is also im­por­tant. Also, make it known to him that you ex­pect him to do his best and no more.

Whether it com­pares favourably with oth­ers or not is of no im­port to you. Do not pres­surise him to ob­tain marks be­yond his cal­i­bre. Once he knows that he is not un­der any duress the ten­sion will be lifted and para­dox­i­cally he will per­form bet­ter for the stress of parental pres­sure gets au­to­mat­i­cally re­lieved.

I was raised by very strict par­ents and even beaten at times. This re­sulted in a re­sent­ment that burned within but could not find an out­let on ac­count of the fear. I want to be kind and gen­tle with my child but would want to know that if this would be con­strued as le­niency and the child would end up as an undis­ci­plined brat. Please tell me what should I do?

A child re­sponds to kind­ness and praise as a flower opens up to the sun. Praise for an achieve­ment, even a gen­uine at­tempt, goes a long way in build­ing his self­es­teem. Make sure that he is wor­thy of that praise and do not re­sort to mere flat­tery, for that would do him more harm than good. You must also keep in mind that you’ll have to be firm when the sit­u­a­tion de­mands it, so that he learns that there are lim­its that he is not al­lowed to cross.

I have a six years-old-son who does not be­have like other chil­dren. He sits alone and plays alone. He does not even in­ter­min­gle with his sib­ling or come to me for a cud­dle as other chil­dren do. I have no­ticed that he dis­plays a spe­cial in­ter­est in build­ing blocks, which he can do for hours. He does not ap­pear to be re­tarded and yet some­thing is not quite right. I am very wor­ried. Please help.

Your son is most prob­a­bly a case of autism. It is a disor­der for which no cause is found and there is no def­i­nite treat­ment. It has a gen­der bias be­ing four times more com­mon in boys. The con­di­tion could be mis­di­ag­nosed by doc­tors and a wrong di­ag­no­sis and treat­ment can do more harm than good. It will be wiser to take him to a child psy­chol­o­gist or psy­chi­a­trist, who will ar­rive at a di­ag­no­sis only af­ter pro­longed ob­ser­va­tion and ques­tion­ing of par­ents and ad­vise you how best to deal with the con­di­tion. A lot de­pends upon the de­gree of autism.

I have two chil­dren – a daugh­ter aged eight and a six years old son. When­ever my hus­band and I have a tiff my mother-in-law tells me not to fight in front of the chil­dren, for they must be pro­tected from any­thing un­pleas­ant in life. I for one think that they should grow up see­ing life as it is so that they are not in for shocks later. Please tell me.

Peo­ple have a wrong no­tion that ex­pos­ing the chil­dren to the re­al­i­ties of life de­stroys their in­no­cence and child­hood. In fact, knowl­edge of the facts of life makes them stronger and bet­ter equipped to with­stand the ups and downs that the fu­ture holds for ev­ery in­di­vid­ual. Of course, you need not re­duce quarrels to mud­sling­ing matches, but ar­gue out points in a civ­i­lized man­ner while re­spect­ing each other’s feel­ings.

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