hile selecting a marriage partner, intellect as well as heart must be given a chance, according to Dr Eusrace Chesser in her book Love and Marriage. True freedom in marriage really is freedom from fears, selfishness and emotional anxiety. A large number of people wanting to get into wedlock feel apprehensive about their future course of life in the even they and their spouses do not function on the same wavelength they think and think and postpone the event. They are deeply concerned about finding Mr or Miss Right but it never occurs to them marriage being the being for two, it is vitally important that they themselves should also be right. He faces frankly the dangers of infatuation. The true test of love is not the intensity of feeling at the beginning of romance. It’s the driving power which it provides throughout a protracted adventure, the enrichment of life which it yields not for a day or two or a month or year but for decades. While some marriages fail because of an absence of love between the parties at the outset, a far greater number fail because the partners are blinded by infatuation to incompatibilities which are perfectly plain to others. Plain as a pikestaff, as the saying goes.
There are those who advise trial marriages. Those who advocate this because they apprehend failure in marriage, are of course, really afraid of themselves.
The cynics have stated that marriage is a fight to the finish. It is – though not, at best in precisely the way they mean. It is worth fight hard in order to achieve married happiness. Those who embrace trial marriages fear that struggle, believing vainly that they can collect sans least effort happiness which a successful love-relationship brings.
There are love-speculators who hope to gain the benefit of or all the rises in the graph of happiness, and at the same time be free to sell out so soon as there are signs of a fall.
Can happiness in marriage be thus acquired, on the cheap? Experiences of innumerable folk conclusively prove it cannot be acquired by those who are unwilling to pay the price.
In marriage, where two people have shared the experience of the years, have passed through the vicissitudes of sorrows and delights, defeats as well as triumphs there is a often a fine sense of calmness and tranquillity in the advanced age with so much shared to look back upon, the lovers grow old gracefully.
Instead of regrets for what was missed in youth the feeling of unfulfilment for what has gone, there is a sense of completion of satisfaction which comes from the knowledge that life has been lived to the full. Fullness of life leaves no room for regrets. Shared, it yields gratitude for all the richness which life together has brought.
Love is essential of the whole of married life. Lovers who have grown old together know from experience that it is not merely worth the life they led but also a shining example to others that in marriage there is everlasting happiness.