What No one tells you about Be­ing Mar­ried

What after mar­riage?

Woman's Era - - Long Story - By Divya Vir­mani

Mar­riage is the bond of two peo­ple who prom­ise to stay to­gether for bet­ter, for worse and in sick­ness and health till death sep­a­rates them. This is what the English vow of mar­riage says. But in re­al­ity it is very dif­fi­cult for peo­ple to un­der­stand what they’re get­ting into when it comes to get­ting mar­ried. All of us have as­pi­ra­tions, hopes, dreams and ex­pec­ta­tions of what will it feel like? We watch ro­man­tic movies, TV shows and even pay at­ten­tion to mar­riages in the world around us to try and get a glimpse of this thing we call holy mat­ri­mony. But we don’t re­ally know un­til we’re there, do we? So, here are some un­usual things that no one tells you about mar­riage!

Love is not go­ing to be a con­stant driv­ing force

Some­times you’ll be puz­zled and you’ll find your­self think­ing whether your love is strong enough to go through the prob­lems that you’re fac­ing in your re­la­tion­ship. You’ll start hav­ing these doubts about your part­ner and your bond with him or her. Just so you know ques­tion­ing your­self about such things is very com­mon and these thoughts can carve their way even into the strong­est re­la­tion­ships!

You’ll de­velop a sense of com­fort with each other

When you spend a lot of time with some­one you grad­u­ally get com­fort­able with that per­son with­out get­ting em­bar­rassed. You can be weird around him or her. You’ll do biz­zare things which you wouldn’t nor­mally do in front of other peo­ple. This means that you have reached the epit­ome of com­fort level with your loved one!

You start dis­cov­er­ing new things about one an­other

You’ll fre­quently start dis­cov­er­ing new things about each other. Some quirks about that per­son make you smile, some drive you mad. Dis­cov­er­ing new things about each other helps you de­velop a bet­ter un­der­stand­ing. This is be­cause now you are get­ting to know him or her bet­ter and can eas­ily fig­ure out about him or her likes and dis­likes.

At­trac­tion grad­u­ally starts fad­ing

The spark in your re­la­tion­ship fades with time. It’s nor­mal. It’s not some­thing you should be wor­ry­ing about. It hap­pens with ev­ery mar­ried cou­ple.

Mar­riage is a two-way street

Ef­fort is re­quired by both the peo­ple in a mar­riage. It is a two-way street and works only if both of the part­ners are will­ing to sac­ri­fice, com­pro­mise, ad­just and adapt them­selves to the changes.

You ac­tu­ally marry the whole fam­ily

When you marry a per­son, you marry his or her whole ex­tended fam­ily. Although we fall in love with the per­son, that per­son is em­bed­ded in a so­cial net­work that has ex­pec­ta­tions from us that may dif­fer from our own ex­pec­ta­tions. Mar­riage is thus all about meet­ing the obli­ga­tions in a way that gives sat­is­fac­tion to both the part­ners and their fam­i­lies.

Some­times you will think about end­ing things

Things may get very dif­fi­cult to the point where you think you want to end things. You may want to quit and give up. The lure of go­ing back to a free-spir­ited sin­gle life may be strong, but you have to be able to per­sist de­spite the temp­ta­tions to just quit.

You start miss­ing your own per­sonal space

Your life is no longer en­tirely your own, and you need to make some sac­ri­fices. House rules will be set. You have to take into con­sid­er­a­tion that you are shar­ing your life with an­other per­son, and the rules must be fol­lowed in or­der to pro­mote bal­ance and har­mony. No mat­ter how much in love you may be, there will be times when you want some space, and that’s okay.

You need to ac­cept things you can’t change

Some­times you guys might not be on the same page and that’s com­pletely okay. This is be­cause your spouse might have dif­fer­ent views on a cer­tain is­sue. You can­not change his or her think­ing. The best thing is to ac­cept the things the way they are be­cause ac­cep­tance is the key to be truly free from all the stress and sad­ness.

Dif­fi­cul­ties that test the strength of your re­la­tion­ship will arise

You’ll face a lot of hard­ships in your mar­riage. How­ever, you must stay con­fi­dent that your bond is strong enough to face what­ever hur­dles are thrown your way. Find so­lace in the fact that the dy­nam­ics of your re­la­tion­ship will be enough to pull you through. God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give our­selves the gift of liv­ing well.

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