PER­SONAL PROB­LEMS

Woman's Era - - Contents -

I am an 18-year-old girl study­ing in the twelfth stan­dard. I am an only child and both my par­ents have high-pres­sure and tough jobs at which they make a lot of money. They spend a lot of this money on me and I get what­ever I ask for.

When my par­ents are away, my fa­ther’s wid­owed sis­ter who lives with us, is sup­posed to be in charge of me. But my aunt is a weak­ling whom I am able to wrap around my lit­tle fin­ger and so I have my way in ev­ery­thing.

But my aunt is also the per­son who knows me the best. My par­ents do not know me at all be­cause they don’t have the time to get to know me. They think that I am still a lit­tle girl when the truth is that I am very much an adult--an adult who is a mem­ber of the wildest group in the elite school I study in, who cuts classes, drinks and has sex with other mem­bers of the group. In fact, I re­alised a cou­ple of years ago that I am highly sexed and that I need a lot of sex.

Per­haps, this is why I was happy when my par­ents de­cided a few months ago that I needed a tu­tor to su­per­vise my prepa­ra­tion for my school fi­nal ex­ams and chose a male teacher for me. This man was mid­dle-aged but it did not take me long to get him ob­sessed with me. Ac­cord­ing to the rules my par­ents had laid down, my aunt had to be in the room while I had my tu­ition but I asked her to leave and she did so.

From there it was a short step to get­ting him to have sex with me. To my great sat­is­fac­tion, the man was highly sexed and we spent many won­der­ful hours hav­ing sex, while my poor aunt wept with fear out­side the room. Nat­u­rally, I did not do well in my ex­ams – but I didn’t care about that though I wept and said that my tu­ition mas­ter had been use­less. My par­ents be­lieved me and ac­cepted the idea that I would be re­peat­ing my 12th stan­dard.

But for some rea­son, though I had fooled my par­ents I be­gan to feel an empti­ness that I could not ac­count for. I also be­gan to vomit….. and it didn’t take long for my aunt to re­alise that I was preg­nant.

Now, my aunt is ready to kill her­self and I am feel­ing a calm­ness that I can­not ex­plain. My aunt says that the calm­ness comes from the baby in my womb. This calm me wants to have the baby---but I am not al­ways calm and an­other part of me is hor­ri­fied at the mess that I have got my­self into. What on earth should I do? My dear girl, you are in real trou­ble and if you do not straighten your­self out, you are go­ing to se­ri­ously mess up your life. And get­ting mat­ters into some sort of or­der is go­ing to be tough.

First of all, both you and your aunt should go to your par­ents and tell them the truth about what you have been up to and the re­sults of your shenani­gans. Un­less both your par­ents are blind, they must surely have sus­pected that you were up to some mis­chief and that your aunt was not able to con­trol you. But some­times par­ents are un­able to see through the an­tics of the chil­dren they adore and what you tell them may come as a to­tal shock to them..

Any­way, it will then be their re­spon­si­bil­ity to de­cide how to bring you onto the cor­rect path so that you do not mess up your life com­pletely.

I am a work­ing woman aged thirty two. I had an ar­ranged mar­riage re­cently and when my in- laws- to- be and hus­band- to- be came to know that I was a work­ing woman, they were very happy. But lit­tle did I know that this was be­cause they thought that I would bring in an­other in­come for the fam­ily.

Ini­tially, they were very help­ful. My mother- in- law would do the cook­ing, my fa­ther- in- law would do the shop­ping and my hus­band would take me out ev­ery week­end. When I re­fused to pay the rent and some bills when I got my first salary after mar­riage, they changed.

Now, I am ex­pected to do chores, pack my own lunch and cook dur­ing the week­end. I think that this is very mean be­hav­iour. I am used to spend­ing the money I earn on my­self and I planned to con­tinue do­ing this.

Is there any­thing wrong in my think­ing? Isn’t a man sup­posed to pro­vide for his wife?

So you think that a man and his fam­ily must look after his wife, but a wife should just look after her­self? Doesn’t that sound rather one-sided and self­ish to you? Does a man only have to give and does a woman only have to take?

No. my girl! That isn’t how mar­riage works! Both a hus­band and a wife have to give and then both get to take. So, the money you earn is as much fam­ily money as your hus­band’s earn­ings are.

Have you a per­sonal prob­lem of any na­ture, which you hes­i­tate to dis­cuss with your fam­ily or friends? Share it with us. WE will try to help you. Ad­dress your let­ter to: WOMAN’S ERA E-3, Jhan­de­wala Es­tate, New Delhi-110 055.

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