I have an eight- year- old daughter for whom I hired a private tutor. I saw to it that I was always at home when he arrived and kept the door ajar. Despite this precaution one day I saw him put his hand up her frock! Though I have terminated his services I do not know how to tackle the matter further. I have lost my sleep and peace of mind. Pease tell me what should I do?
First and foremost impress upon your daughter that you do not hold her responsible in any way (for children are easily given to guilt) for what happened. Let her know by words and gestures that you love her as much if not more than before. Question her gently as to what all her teacher did with her person.
Do not blame her for not telling you anything. She must have hidden the sordid facts out of fear both of the teacher’s wrath and the loss of your affections. It is important to find out how far did he go and for how long. You might even need to get her examined physically by a doctor . Teach her the difference between a good touch and a bad touch and ask her to tell you immediately if anyone behaves improperly with her.
If she has been a victim of prolonged child abuse it is best to take her to a psychologist so that together you can help her get over the trauma of the ordeal.
I have a six-year-old daughter. She is pretty doing well in all spheres, but has one peculiar habit - she is given to speaking little fibs. How do I put a stop to this, for I would like her to grow up into a truthful and honest person?
It is important to be truthful and honest yourself, for children learn best by imitation and at this stage of life parents are their role models. You cannot expect her to speak the truth if you and your husband resort to white lies in public. Also never lie to her. When a child discovers that her parents have lied to her she loses faith and feels isolated and unloved. Another reason for her lying could be that you are too strict with her and if she has done something wrong she is afraid of the punishment she will receive.
The next time she lies, calmly and patiently explain to her why lying is not a good thing to do. Tell her it is important that she speaks the truth because it is the right thing to do and it pains you when she does. Praise her courage when she speaks the truth in trying circumstances while letting her know at the same time that you do not approve of the wrong she did and will expect her not to repeat it.
I will soon be delivering my first child. It is customary for a revered person to give a newborn baby honey soon after birth so that the baby grows up to be like the person who fed him the honey. Is it alright to do so?
It is not right to feed honey to your newborn baby. This is because honey can contain infective material, especially botulism. If it is difficult for you to prevent this yourself, you could always take the help of the pediatrician, who in any case will advise against the practice.
I have a nine-year-old daughter and a seven-year-old son. My daughter is doing very well in school, is neat and tidy and in general a well-behaved child. My son on the other hand is a pain. He forgets things, is a mediocre student and an untidy person with no sense of discipline. I keep telling him to be like his sister (it is said that children learn by imitation) but he does not listen to me. Please tell me what should I do?
First and foremost stop comparing him with his sister. This will only create an inferiority complex and will not help him in any way. In fact, he will become more rebellious and stubborn. On the other, he will begin to resent her. Learn to appreciate his strong points - he must be at least reasonably good in something – games, drawings. Also, guide him and help him improve his weak areas. In due course he will regain his self- esteem and flower as an individual in his own right.
I have a six-month-old daughter and in a few days I will be leaving her for the entire day in the care of her grandmother for, I have to go back to work. I would have loved to continue breast -feeding her, for there is an abundance of milk in my breasts and all said and done it is the best food for her.
There is a way out of your predicament. You could express the milk from you breast and keep it in a clean closed container in the fridge. This could then be fed to you baby with the help of a spoon in your absence.
It is wise to keep the milk outside the fridge sometime before the next feed is due for it to come to room temperature. Alternatively you could put the utensil containing the milk in warm water for it to warm up. Do not heat the milk directly on the gas. Also, by this time some sort of weaning food must have been started which can take the place on one or two feeds of breast milk in your absence. – Dr Amrinder Bajaj, MD.