FRIEND­SHIP The beau­ti­ful word

Time to break up with your girl­friend.

Woman's Era - - Short Story - By Jy­oti Gal­ada

ne of the big­gest mis­takes you can make in life is let­ting peo­ple stay in your life far longer than they de­serve”, as said by Drake. Friend­ship is a beau­ti­ful re­la­tion­ship in your life where you are your­self and not wor­ried about your im­age. When all other re­la­tion­ships are tensed friends bring so­lace in life and many times are above blood re­la­tions. You can turn to your friends for help at any time and they are ready to help with­out grum­ble. Friends un­der­stand the truth hid­den in your life and the words of your si­lence.

But there are peo­ple who do not know the def­i­ni­tion of this beau­ti­ful word friend­ship and mis­use it. A bad friend is worse than an en­emy, an en­emy you can see and avoid, but to de­tect an in­sin­cere friend is hard. Bad friend­ships can only cause emo­tional, men­tal, phys­i­cal or fi­nan­cial suf­fer­ing. Here are tips to de­tect a false friend. Re­mem­ber, you can choose your friends if not your blood re­la­tions.

Friend­ship is based on trust. The se­crets that you share with your friend are not meant for gos­sip­ing. If your friend finds plea­sure in gos­sip­ing about your se­cret caus­ing hurt and pain to you it’s time to break up.

Do you smell some­thing fishy when your friend is in pres­ence of your hus­band/boyfriend? Is she try­ing to ex­tract in­for­ma­tion about him and al­ways find­ing an ex­cuse to see him? Does her body lan­guage, be­hav­iour and looks make you feel un­com­fort­able when he is present. Then it’s time to break up with your friend. She may be hav­ing a crush on your hus­band/boyfriend and you would not want to jeop­ar­dise your re­la­tion­ship with your spouse.

Misun­der­stand­ings are part of each re­la­tion­ship. Ma­tured peo­ple sort out their mis­un­der­stand­ing am­i­ca­bly. But if your friend is talk­ing neg­a­tively about you and spoil­ing your im­age in front of oth­ers with an in­ten­tion of re­venge or steal­ing your other friends then its time to break up.

Is your friend too pos­ses­sive about you that she feels hurt when you hang out with other friends? Does she talk neg­a­tively about them to you or tries to cre­ate dis­tur­bance in your other friend­ships? Then it’s time to break up.

Is the base of your friend­ship self­ish­ness? Does your friend con­tact you only when she needs help? Else is she not con­cerned with any­thing else going in your life or your feel­ings? Does she pester you to do a favour against your will at the cost of your friend­ship? If yes, then it’s time to break up.

Whether you are deal­ing with a neg­a­tive or pos­i­tive sit­u­a­tion a friend al­ways stands be­sides you with­out be­ing judge­men­tal. But in time of need if your friend does not stand up for you or help you and avoids stay­ing in con­tact with you its time to break up. Af­ter all, a friend in need is a friend in­deed.

Does your friend feel ashamed of in­tro­duc­ing you to her other friends if you are not dressed up well or if you turn up in a taxi and not your chauf­feur-driven car? Then maybe she is friends with your sta­tus and not you. If your sta­tus van­ishes she will also van­ish. Break up with her to di­rect your life towards some­thing pos­i­tive.

If you find your friend do­ing some il­le­gal work or she is plan­ning to harm some­one then stay away from her. Her vi­o­lent na­ture and neg­a­tive be­hav­iour will af­fect your rep­u­ta­tion. Re­mem­ber, a per­son is known by the com­pany he keeps.

Re­spect is the most im­por­tant part of any re­la­tion­ship. If your friend does not treat you re­spect­fully, gives im­por­tance to oth­ers in your pres­ence and ne­glects you, is jeal­ous of your achieve­ments, your sor­row does not touch her heart then you will not want her in your life. Break up!

Are you find­ing it dif­fi­cult to be your­self in your friend’s com­pany? Are there com­pat­i­bil­ity is­sues and you are find­ing it hard to ad­just? Is it al­ways her say and your lik­ings are not given pref­er­ence? Or you are find­ing it oblig­a­tory to hang out with her? Just break up.

It is bet­ter to have one good friend than many bad friends.

I am very fond of cook­ing and bak­ing. Does the tem­per­a­ture of all the in­gre­di­ents used in a cake mat­ter in the mak­ing of the cake?

Yes, the tem­per­a­ture of all the in­gre­di­ents does af­fect the qual­ity of the cake. Keep all the in­gre­di­ents at the same tem­per­a­ture while mak­ing the bat­ter. Mix­ing hot and cold spoils the tex­ture.

But­ter is the best, these days we are us­ing more and more but­ter in our diet. Please tell us more about it.

Yes this is true, ev­ery­thing tastes bet­ter with but­ter. Of all the nat­u­ral, ba­sic and an­cient in­gre­di­ents , but­ter is the best tast­ing and the most ver­sa­tile. Lux­ury in­gre­di­ents too need but­ter, as do the sim­ple things of life are el­e­vated to new lev­els once but­ter is added. How­ever, In­dian food has, tra­di­tion­ally, been less de­pen­dent on but­ter- we use ghee. The prob­lem with but­ter is that it spoils eas­ily. But that has changed too as re­frig­er­a­tion has made it easy to trans­port and store but­ter. Our an­ces­tors, though got around this by cre­at­ing ghee from but­ter. Not only ghee is bet­ter for cook­ing, it also does not spoil for a long time. But­ter if not taken in ex­cess, does very lit­tle harm.

What is ghee, how can we make it at home?

Ghee is noth­ing but clar­i­fied but­ter. Though it is also made by other so­ci­eties for cook­ing, but not as well as the In­di­ans do. In­dia has been ex­port­ing ghee to many coun­tries. We can make ghee by heat­ing but­ter in a heavy­bot­tomed pan or kadahi on low flame, stir­ring con­tin­u­ously, till the fat sep­a­rates. Strain and store in a clean and dry bot­tle. We still love our ghee, it is our base fat and many In­dian dishes and sweets do not taste right un­less pre­pared in ghee. What are bak­ing pow­der and bak­ing soda? Do they serve the same pur­pose in cook­ing and bak­ing?

If you are fond of bak­ing, you will need both the items in your pantry. Bak­ing soda and bak­ing pow­der are both chem­i­cals hav­ing the prop­er­ties to ex­pand the bat­ter or the dough to which they are added. Bak­ing pow­der causes baked items to rise rather than spread, while bak­ing soda does the op­po­site. For ex­am­ple, if you like a crisp choco­late-chip cookie, use bak­ing soda for a flat­ter cookie. Bak­ing pow­der will pro­duce a softer, more cake- like cookie. So, use the two prod­ucts, de­pend­ing on the re­sults you want. Also, keep in mind the ex­piry date for bak­ing pow­der, while bak­ing soda has no ex­piry date.

Kindly let me know the mean­ing of the terms: poach, scald and steep which we come across in var­i­ous recipes.

To poach means, to cook some­thing such as a fish or an egg with its shell re­moved by putting it in gently boil­ing (just be­low the boil­ing point) wa­ter or other liq­uid. Scald is a cook­ing tech­nique, usu­ally used in ref­er­ence to milk. It means to heat a liq­uid to a point where it’s just about to reach the boil­ing point. At this point, small bub­bles will start to ap­pear around the edges. Steep es­sen­tially means soak. To steep means to al­low dry in­gre­di­ents, such as cof­fee, tea or spices, to soak in a liq­uid un­til the liq­uid takes on the flavour of the dry in­gre­di­ent.

Even chilled fruit punch has to be served with ice, be it sum­mer or win­ter season. The ice keeps it cold but also di­lutes it . Can you sug­gest a way to avoid this?

This is a real prob­lem, as most peo­ple do not en­joy their cold drink with­out ice, how­ever cold or chilled it may be. But this prob­lem can be eas­ily solved. Freeze some juice or fruit punch in an ice tray and serve the drink with these cubes rather than the plain wa­ter ice cubes. Not only this is more dec­o­ra­tive, but it also pre­vents melt­ing and hence di­lut­ing of the drink.

What things should we keep in mind while buy­ing a pineap­ple?

This is true, that no one likes to bite into a slice of a sour and un­ripe pineap­ple. To avoid this: gently squeeze the fruit. It should be firm but the skin should be slightly soft. There should be no in­dented or squishy spots. A good pineap­ple that is ripe and juicy will feel heavy. An over­ripe pineap­ple will smell vine­gary, while a ripe one will smell sweet. You can test if a pineap­ple is ripe by try­ing to pluck out one of the leaves near the centre. If it comes out fairly eas­ily then the pineap­ple is fit for buy­ing. A golden base also in­di­cates that the sugar has formed in the fruit and hence is sweet and ready to eat. Buy a pineap­ple in ripe con­di­tion the same day that you in­tend to use it; that way , it will be fresh.

This is the season of jag­gery eat­ing, how ben­e­fi­cial is jag­gery for us?

Jag­gery is fa­mous by the name ‘gur’ all over In­dia and has been used all over the world be­cause of its ther­a­peu­tic and nu­tri­tional health ben­e­fits. Yes, jag­gery con­tains min­er­als like zinc and se­le­nium and vi­ta­mins that sugar does not have. It keeps our body warm, that is why we eat jag­gery mostly in the win­ter season and not in the sum­mers. It aids in di­ges­tion and pre­vents con­sti­pa­tion. It is loaded with an­tiox­i­dants. It boosts im­mu­nity and also pro­tects us against lung dis­com­fort and pu­ri­fies blood. It sweet­ens our food in a healthy man­ner. – Savita Bhar­gava

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