Woman's Era - - Contents -


E ARE TWO 17- YEAR-OLD GIRLS WHO ARE VERY CLOSE FOR W the last 5 years. We do every­thing to­gether and have no se­crets from each other. Re­cently, a very nice boy in our class has be­come friendly with us and he started ac­com­pa­ny­ing us on our out­ings.

Yes­ter­day, he con­fided in me that he was keen to be my friend and go out alone with me with­out my friend. I like him too and would like to date him, but how do I tell her not to come with us. She will be hurt and I don’t want that. Please tell me what to do.

Why don’t you sug­gest to this young man that it will be a good idea if he brings along a friend for her. You can go as a four­some a few times and then sep­a­rate into cou­ples.

If this is not a vi­able plan, just tell her gen­tly that he has asked you out on a date. She will surely re­alise that she can­not go out with you.

In­ter­sperse the dates with three­somes too, so that she does not feel you both have cut her out com­pletely from your ac­tiv­i­ties. Be it a mat­ter of fact when you tell her about your want­ing to go out with­out her. Don’t be apolo­getic, or look guilty be­cause you have no need to be.


Y BOYFRIEND WHO WANTS TO MARRY ME IN TWO YEARS’ time when I am 21 and he 26, be­longs to a fam­ily which has a vast stain­less steel uten­sils fac­tory. They are very good peo­ple, apart from be­ing very pros­per­ous, of course.

I, on the other hand, am from a fam­ily of pro­fes­sion­als, who un­for­tu­nately looks down on my boyfriend’s back­ground and ve­he­mently op­poses our mar­riage.

Please tell me what to do. I am my par­ents’ only child, and they have vested many hopes and dreams in me. I do not want to hurt them, nor do I want to give up my boyfriend who I Iove dearly.

It is un­for­tu­nate that such bi­ases ex­ist even among ed­u­cated per­sons, but this can­not be helped. In your case, you and your man should diplo­mat­i­cally win over your par­ents and make them see how suit­able he is for you.

Is there any solid ground for their ob­jec­tions? If, they are con­vinced that you will be un­able to ad­just and live hap­pily with them, con­sider their views ob­jec­tively.

Do not let sen­ti­ments and emo­tions blind you to re­al­ity. Mar­riage is for a life­time, and you will have to blend into dif­fer­ent en­vi­ron­ment and be com­fort­able there too.

Take time to de­cide. It is likely that the flush of love and ro­mance is mak­ing you im­prac­ti­cal. Find out what ex­pec­ta­tions his fam­ily has from you, and whether you can ful­fil them. You should not make them un­happy with your ad­vent into their home.

All things con­sid­ered, give your­self time to weigh the sit­u­a­tion calmly and clearly. Talk with your el­ders and friends be­fore you take any vi­tal de­ci­sion.

MY PAR­ENTS DO NOT LET ME BE OUT OF THE HOUSE AF­TER 11pm, which is cur­few time. My friends party al­most through the night and it is very em­bar­rass­ing when my dad comes to take me home on the dot of 11 ! All my ap­peals to let me stay back till mid­night falls on deaf ears. I am a 16-year-old girl in Delhi.

Your par­ents’ cur­few time for a 16-year-old girl seems very rea­son­able. Why do you want to stay out longer just to ap­pear cool to your friends?

This is sim­ply a de­sire to im­press them, a de­sire to con­form. Be strong, be dif­fer­ent, be your­self. You must re­alise that you are very for­tu­nate to have such car­ing, re­spon­si­ble and lov­ing par­ents who do not want their child to get into any trou­ble.

Be quite as­sured.if you land in some trou­ble by stay­ing out late, your friends are not go­ing to help you out. It will be your par­ents who will fight tooth and nail to get you out.

Delhi re­ports the high­est crime rate against women. Par­ties of the young of­ten have drugs and al­co­hol in­volved, and this trig­gers un­savoury in­ci­dents.

In short, it is ad­vis­able you do not fret un­der the re­stric­tions im­posed on you. You will soon be grown up and re­spon­si­ble enough to take care of your­self.


AM A SMART, IN­TEL­LI­GENT 15- YEAR-OLD GIRL, IF I SAY SO MY­SELF. But I hate aca­demics. I barely man­age to get pass­ing grades, much to my par­ents’ dis­ap­point­ment. They are both highly re­spected pro­fes­sors in the Univer­sity, and I am their only child. I hate to see their dis­ap­point­ment although they in no way blame me for my fail­ure. Please tell me whether there are other ways to be suc­cess­ful in life with­out a few de­grees to my name?

The first step is to think clearly what ex­actly you want to do in life. Surely, you do not just want to en­joy life as a par­a­site, us­ing your par­ents’ money?

You must have a dream, a goal to work for, and a will­ing­ness to work hard to achieve it. It could be a start-up busi­ness, a school, an art course, a travel agency. There are un­lim­ited av­enues for mak­ing a liv­ing.

But for all this, a sound busi­ness sense, ba­sic ed­u­ca­tion, a sharp mind and in­tel­lect are of para­mount im­por­tance. If you do not wish to go in for con­ven­tional aca­demics, you can do a busi­ness course, an ad­vanced com­puter course, fash­ion de­sign, etc, etc.

The West of­fers some ter­rific op­por­tu­ni­ties in this too. But it is ad­vis­able to have at least an un­der­grad­u­ate’s de­gree un­der your belt for this.

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