E ARE TWO 17- YEAR-OLD GIRLS WHO ARE VERY CLOSE FOR W the last 5 years. We do everything together and have no secrets from each other. Recently, a very nice boy in our class has become friendly with us and he started accompanying us on our outings.
Yesterday, he confided in me that he was keen to be my friend and go out alone with me without my friend. I like him too and would like to date him, but how do I tell her not to come with us. She will be hurt and I don’t want that. Please tell me what to do.
Why don’t you suggest to this young man that it will be a good idea if he brings along a friend for her. You can go as a foursome a few times and then separate into couples.
If this is not a viable plan, just tell her gently that he has asked you out on a date. She will surely realise that she cannot go out with you.
Intersperse the dates with threesomes too, so that she does not feel you both have cut her out completely from your activities. Be it a matter of fact when you tell her about your wanting to go out without her. Don’t be apologetic, or look guilty because you have no need to be.
Y BOYFRIEND WHO WANTS TO MARRY ME IN TWO YEARS’ time when I am 21 and he 26, belongs to a family which has a vast stainless steel utensils factory. They are very good people, apart from being very prosperous, of course.
I, on the other hand, am from a family of professionals, who unfortunately looks down on my boyfriend’s background and vehemently opposes our marriage.
Please tell me what to do. I am my parents’ only child, and they have vested many hopes and dreams in me. I do not want to hurt them, nor do I want to give up my boyfriend who I Iove dearly.
It is unfortunate that such biases exist even among educated persons, but this cannot be helped. In your case, you and your man should diplomatically win over your parents and make them see how suitable he is for you.
Is there any solid ground for their objections? If, they are convinced that you will be unable to adjust and live happily with them, consider their views objectively.
Do not let sentiments and emotions blind you to reality. Marriage is for a lifetime, and you will have to blend into different environment and be comfortable there too.
Take time to decide. It is likely that the flush of love and romance is making you impractical. Find out what expectations his family has from you, and whether you can fulfil them. You should not make them unhappy with your advent into their home.
All things considered, give yourself time to weigh the situation calmly and clearly. Talk with your elders and friends before you take any vital decision.
MY PARENTS DO NOT LET ME BE OUT OF THE HOUSE AFTER 11pm, which is curfew time. My friends party almost through the night and it is very embarrassing when my dad comes to take me home on the dot of 11 ! All my appeals to let me stay back till midnight falls on deaf ears. I am a 16-year-old girl in Delhi.
Your parents’ curfew time for a 16-year-old girl seems very reasonable. Why do you want to stay out longer just to appear cool to your friends?
This is simply a desire to impress them, a desire to conform. Be strong, be different, be yourself. You must realise that you are very fortunate to have such caring, responsible and loving parents who do not want their child to get into any trouble.
Be quite assured.if you land in some trouble by staying out late, your friends are not going to help you out. It will be your parents who will fight tooth and nail to get you out.
Delhi reports the highest crime rate against women. Parties of the young often have drugs and alcohol involved, and this triggers unsavoury incidents.
In short, it is advisable you do not fret under the restrictions imposed on you. You will soon be grown up and responsible enough to take care of yourself.
AM A SMART, INTELLIGENT 15- YEAR-OLD GIRL, IF I SAY SO MYSELF. But I hate academics. I barely manage to get passing grades, much to my parents’ disappointment. They are both highly respected professors in the University, and I am their only child. I hate to see their disappointment although they in no way blame me for my failure. Please tell me whether there are other ways to be successful in life without a few degrees to my name?
The first step is to think clearly what exactly you want to do in life. Surely, you do not just want to enjoy life as a parasite, using your parents’ money?
You must have a dream, a goal to work for, and a willingness to work hard to achieve it. It could be a start-up business, a school, an art course, a travel agency. There are unlimited avenues for making a living.
But for all this, a sound business sense, basic education, a sharp mind and intellect are of paramount importance. If you do not wish to go in for conventional academics, you can do a business course, an advanced computer course, fashion design, etc, etc.
The West offers some terrific opportunities in this too. But it is advisable to have at least an undergraduate’s degree under your belt for this.