IAM A 14- YEAR-OLD GIRL WHO HAS JUST LEARNT ABOUT SEX FROM a friend of mine. I cannot say just how shocked I was by this revelation. I think it is just too dirty and gross to even think about it, In fact, I have decided I will never have a boyfriend or get married!
But what bothers me is that nowadays I get dreams about sex! This makes me feel very guilty and ashamed. Why is this ? Please help me stop such dreams.
Children who have been brought up in a strict, orthodox home where sex is not discussed, and is considered “dirty” tend to get quite shocked and even repulsed by it. But it is a primal instinct and the closest intimacy between two partners.
Sexual feelings are dormant in every person, especially during puberty when hormones are flush in the system. You are consciously trying to keep off from sex, but subconsciously, you are attracted to it, and this is causing your explicit dreams, when your guard is down, so to say.
Stop feeling guilty and ashamed of your dreams!! Just relax and enjoy life. Surely, a time will come when you will not find sex either dirty or wrong.
IAM TERRIBLY WORRIED. PLEASE ADVISE ME QUICKLY. I AM A 17-year-old girl who has a steady boyfriend studying in a class higher than mine. Some days back, when we were alone in his house. This rarely happens because his mother or mine are always there if we are in our home. He began to fondle me, and soon we did some heavy petting although we stopped short of intercourse.
Now, I find my period this month is delayed. I am terrified, I could be pregnant. Please help me fast.
To get pregnant, the semen should reach the female egg in the uterus through intercourse without taking precaution. If, as you say, you did not have intercourse, it is highly unlikely that you are pregnant. Sometimes, even a drop of semen which travels inside the female’s body, can impregnate her. If your heavy petting could have done this, you could be pregnant.
Get a pregnancy test kit from a chemist and check out for yourself. You can move forward from there.
There are several reasons for a delayed period fatigue, stress, lack of nutrition, etc, etc.
Still do not avoid the test, for it is best to think of the options open to you.
You should avoid sexual relationships at this age. Your partner could be arrested for molesting a minor. Even if you are above 18, take all precautions against sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy.
IAM IN A BIG DILEMMA. MY FATHER IS A VERY BUSY lawyer who is unable to spare much time to the family – my mother and me. I am a 15year-old girl. Our neighbour is a good-looking man with whom my mother has become friendly. He drops in often and both of them chat and laugh a lot together. Of course, my father knows him too and is quite okay with this.
But last week, when I returned from school early, I found him in our home, and both of them looked very flustered and guilty. I am very certain that the suspicions I have had for some time are true. My mother is having an affair with him.
My father is a good and trusting man. I hate to see him being cheated. What should I do? Confront my mother, or warn my father?
You should definitely not tell your father anything, for in all probability, you have misconstrued a very innocent situation. Just talk to your mother, and ask her why he is coming over so often, and that it could send tongues wagging in the neighbourhood. Even this, you should do with tact and diplomacy, for you have no right to interfere with your parent’s social relationships.
Now, your mother could show righteous anger or listen to you with concern. Anyway, this should let her know that you feel suspicious, and she should rectify the situation.
WE ARE A STRONGLY LOYAL GROUP OF 5 GIRLS IN CLASS 11 of a very famous school in Delhi. The other 4 girls take some drug sometimes and sometimes smoke pot. I am the odd one out, for I refuse to join in as I firmly believe that it is unhealthy.
They ask me to just try once, and see how I feel, just out of curiosity. They also tell me that drugs are not addictive and you can stop anytime. If I don’t take it at least once, they say I would have lost an experience, which is something of a growing up ritual. Shall I try it? My parents will be horrified!
Your friends are absolutely wrong on many counts. Firstly, drugs can quickly become an addiction to come out of which you will need treatment and rehabilitation. It will mess up your life before you know it. Also, to stop drugs is very difficult. You will need professional help for this.
Yes, many take drugs to just find out what it is all about. But why should you want to know this? You will soon be coaxed into taking it again and again, and you will perhaps succumb to peer pressure.
As a thumb rule, do not do anything which you wish to hide from your parents. This will imply that you are doing something taboo. It is heartening to see how you have till now withstood peer pressure so well.
Hopefully, some of the girls will follow your example out of admiration.