MY BEST FRIEND IN SCHOOL HAD A LOT OF FAMILY PROBLEMS. Her father is an alcoholic who abuses his wife physically, and her brother is neglecting his studies. The stress is giving my friend anxiety and depression, and she often gets panic attacks too.
When she talks about this to her mother and aunt, they tell her to pull herself up, and that depression does not occur in the young. She wants to get help but they are refusing to let her. We are 16-year-old girls who want to know if teenagers can get depressed or not. Please advise.
Indeed, some years back, youngsters were immune to depression and anxiety, for their lives were not as stressfilled and competitive as today’s. Feelings of sadness, helplessness and despondency were fleeting and dispelled quickly with some distractions, advice and company of friends.
Nowadays, many children are suffering from clinical depression their and need help from families or professionals to get over it.
It is understandable that your friend is depressed and anxious. She needs help not only for herself but for her family. There are several family clinics which advise and help in circumstances like hers. Perhaps, the family doctor could help in identifying them in your city. She and her mother definitely need intervention from such helpers to deal with the problems. Just sharing their concerns and getting support and advice will go a long way in relieving her stress and tension.
Even talking over the problems with a wiser, older, kindly neighbor or relative will be a good start.
IAM A 17- YEAR-OLD GIRL WHO WAS ADOPTED BY A COUPLE WHEN I was only 6 months old. My parents are very loving and caring and are giving me the finest education I could ever ask for. They told me about my adoption when I was 12 years old, assuring me that to them, I was their own child. They have no other children.
From some time, I keep getting a strong urge to know about my biological parents, and to even meet them. When I spoke to parents about this, they were devastated, and beseeched me not to try to know my antecedents. In fact, they said they are themselves ignorant about this.
I do not believe them and want to go to the orphanage and find out for myself. My best friend says that it is wrong and I shouldn’t hurt my parents who have been so good to me. Please advise.
It is definitely not right to take any steps in a clandestine manner, for you will break their trust in you. If you tell them, they will surely assure you that the orphanage will be unable to give you any information. So, why attempt this futile exercise? Forget the past, and try not to dig it up just to satisfy your curiosity. You might be shocked and hurt beyond measure with some facts which were better remained untold.
Believe your parents when they claim ignorance about your real parents. Get on with your life now and do so well that they feel proud of you. This will repay them handsomely for all that they have invested in you.
IAM A 14- YEAR-OLD GIRL. MY FATHER PASSED AWAY WHEN I WAS three years old, and my mom and grandparents have taken care of me. Now, my mom has decided to remarry, and the man she has chosen is, indeed, a good man, and I am very happy.
My step-father’s is a widower with an 18-year-old son, who treats me like a kid sister. I though, feel very attracted to him and have secret dreams of marrying him when I am an adult. Should I tell him about how I feel so that he does not get involved with someone else without waiting for me?
Firstly, do not make the gross mistake of revealing your feelings to this young man, for it will ruin the beautiful sibling relationship he has with you. It will make you look silly and foolish,for what you are experiencing is nothing more than a crush or puppy love which teens often have in the vulnerable growing years. Proximity with a young person of the opposite sex when adolescent hormones are rising in your body due to normal biological reasons can create infatuations.
Enjoy the nice equation you share with your stepbrother. As he has in no way indicated that he is attracted to you in a romantic way, he surely does not have such notions. You have many years ahead before you can think of marriage too, and many things can happen in this time.
The bottom line is, don’t tell him anything at all, and try to mingle with other friends of your own age which will stop your romantic dreaming.
AFTER MY FATHER’S JOB TRANSFER TO DELHI FROM CHENNAI, I feel very lonely without old school mates. In the new school here, no one talks much to me, or invites me to join their group. They are not rude but they ignore and neglect me. I hate going to school each morning. Please tell me what to do. I am a 13-year-old girl.
Rest assured that all newcomers in school face this problem. The secret is: if you want a friend, be a friend! Don’t wait for someone to talk to you. Choose some classmates who seem to be your type, and approach them with a “Hello, may I join you?”
Keep a friendly open face, and be ready to help or lend a hand in any activity. Join group activities, clubs, sports etc, where you will soon make friends. Be ready to share books, notes, etc.
It takes a bit of time but you will soon be able to break the ice.