THINGS YOU CAN LEARN FROM A BREAK-UP

How to make the best of it.

Woman's Era - - Contents - Me­hak Garg

Break­ing up with some­one is never easy and it be­comes even worse when you are the one be­ing dumped. While there are many lessons you can learn from a break-up, it is still a very lonely ex­pe­ri­ence. When the re­la­tion­ship is of­fi­cially over, you get into a web of what ifs and whys. But in­stead of think­ing about all of this, why not try and think about the lessons you learnt from that re­la­tion­ship?

Ev­ery re­la­tion­ship, whether good or bad, al­ways has a les­son be­hind it. It taught you what you want – and, more im­por­tantly, what you don’t want – in your next re­la­tion­ship.

EV­ERY RE­LA­TION­SHIP, WHETHER GOOD OR BAD, AL­WAYS HAS A LES­SON BE­HIND IT. IT TAUGHT YOU WHAT YOU WANT – AND MORE IM­POR­TANTLY, WHAT YOU DON’T WANT – IN YOUR NEXT RE­LA­TION­SHIP. BREAK-UP IS HARD, BUT ITS LESSONS ARE EN­LIGHT­EN­ING. THAT IS THE BEAUTY OF LIFE – YOU AL­WAYS FIND A TRUTH IN PARA­DOX.

Break-up is hard, but its lessons are en­light­en­ing. That is the beauty of life – you al­ways find a truth in para­dox.

Your hap­pi­ness and val­i­da­tion comes from within:

You don’t need a re­la­tion­ship to be happy. While you might feel over­whelmed with the pain of hav­ing bro­ken up, you need to un­der­stand, there is much more to life than be­ing in a re­la­tion­ship with some­one, es­pe­cially when that some­one did not treat you right. Stay­ing in a re­la­tion­ship at the cost of your sel­f­re­spect is never the right de­ci­sion to make.

The pain abbs slowly:

The pain does go away. You might not want to hear it now, but it is true. Time heals all wounds and as dif­fi­cult as it may be to be­lieve, the pain dims af­ter a while. How­ever, you have to al­low your­self to heal. As a de­fence mech­a­nism, you will find the mem­o­ries be­ing less painful or as sharp over time, so let them fade. Make it eas­ier for your­self by cut­ting off all con­tacts with your ex, even if it means un­friend­ing him on so­cial me­dia so that you can’t stalk him (and make your­self mis­er­able) even if you want to.

Love is not enough to make a re­la­tion­ship last:

As much as we would like to be­lieve in all those fairy tales where love is enough, it is not so. To make a re­la­tion­ship last, un­for­tu­nately, love is not enough. Of course, it is very im­por­tant but the way our sig­nif­i­cant other treats us, is just as im­por­tant, if not more. Ac­cord­ing to Howard Mark­man, PHD, "We kill love by how we treat our part­ners, by not han­dling neg­a­tive feel­ings well."

No mat­ter what any­one says, you can’t change some­one if they don’t want to.

It prob­a­bly was for the best that you and your part­ner broke up if you re­mem­ber hav­ing a lot of dis­cus­sions of things that were

You can’t change some­one:

dis­pleas­ing to you. While op­po­sites do at­tract, you want to make sure that your part­ner is sat­is­fy­ing your needs with­out hav­ing to ask them over and over again.

Learn what you want and what you don’t want in a re­la­tion­ship:

An­other re­ally im­por­tant les­son to be learned is get­ting to know what you want and what you don’t want in a re­la­tion­ship. Break-ups help you fig­ure out what it is that you re­ally need when you are in­volved in a re­la­tion­ship. This will help you un­der­stand what your heart re­ally wants and, fi­nally, will be able to give it the same.

There are more fish in the sea:

Some­times, the end of a re­la­tion­ship can leave you feel­ing com­pletely worth­less, unlov­able, unattrac­tive and un­ap­peal­ing to other men. How­ever, that’s not re­ally the case. There are many men out there who would be in­ter­ested in you and while it is not a good idea to start a re­la­tion­ship on a re­bound, meet­ing men and dat­ing again can do won­ders for your bat­tered self­es­teem. Still, do take enough time off to heal, re­solve your own is­sues and in­se­cu­ri­ties be­fore you dip into the dat­ing pool again.

Friends are life:

True friends help you pick up your pieces when you are down and mis­er­able af­ter a break-up. They are the ones who will al­ways be there by your side, and there is noth­ing bet­ter than a break-up to show it.

No re­la­tion­ship is a waste of time:

What­ever you do, never view this re­la­tion­ship as a fail­ure or as a waste of your time, no mat­ter how long you and your part­ner were to­gether for. None of these lessons would be learnt with­out a break-up.

In fact, think of it this way: a break-up is ac­tu­ally a bless­ing; it is just a con­spir­acy of the uni­verse to lead you to your soul­mate. So, happy break-ups, folks, till you find the one.

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