Will You Marry Me?
Text by Ester Pandiangan| Photographer: DS Dhiemazsaputra Photography +62 878 517 9215 | Stylist: AJ
Suit by Bie Hien Tailor| Gown by Cezsz by Francesa Raharjdo | Hair Piece by Le Ciel Design by Yuling Models: Arif & Dianna Lo MC Model Management | Location: Pakuwon Golf & Family Club, Surabaya
When I was in college, I dreamt I would be married by the time I was 24. Now I’m 29 and I still haven’t had a man say, like Jerry Maguire to Dorothy, that I complete him. When I get together with my girl friends, the talk often turns to our wedding dreams. One friend, a climber, wants her man to propose to her on the summit of some soaring peak. Another friend has turned 30 and her desire to get married is beginning to turn to desperation. My mom got married when she was 23. Most women of her generation married young. More women of my generation are putting off marriage as they focus on their education and careers. “When will you get married?” It’s a question we women are used to hearing once we reach a certain age and our family and friends think it is time we settled down. And it is a question that can make some women rush to find a boyfriend or, if they are already in a relationship, to start dropping hints to their boyfriends that it is time to tie the knot. But is it a good idea to get married because you are tired of the questions, because you are afraid of being alone, because you are in a relationship and getting married is what people in a relationship do? I have been thinking about this a lot and I don’t want these to be the reasons I get married. I want to get married because I am in love with someone I want to spend the rest of my life with and build a family with. I want to get married because I have found someone I can’t imagine my life without. I guess it no longer really matters who proposes to who. Ladies, if you think it’s time to take the next step, just say so without sending weird signals to your man and hoping he gets the message. If you don’t know how to start the conversation, here are some suggestions to help you ask your man to start the next chapter.
• Firstly, you must assess the situation. Don’t raise the topic when he is in a bad mood or distracted by work or family matters. Don’t issue threats or ultimatums, telling him the relationship is over if he doesn’t marry you soon. Saying that all your friends are getting married, so it is the right time for you two to take the plunge, is not the best way to ask your man to marry you. • Make sure you and him are in a serious relationship and that marriage is something you have discussed before. • Make it happen with his parents’