I WAS DOING SOME ORGANIZATION AND DEEP CLEANING OF MY BELONGINGS. This is the longest I have ever lived in the same house, and I've accumulated a lot of things. In the course of this, I came across a box filled with my old journals.
Let me explain. These weren't journals detailing events of my life. I made them to write down prayer requests and answers to prayer, Bible verses I was claiming, and most importantly, personal instruction I had received from Jesus during my times of meditation that gave me direction and helped me make choices. I hadn't opened the journals in years and had in fact almost tossed them out many times. They were all different sizes and shapes, and most were barely legible, since I am not known for my neat handwriting.
They were also reminders of some very challenging periods of my life, when a lot of things seemed to be going wrong. When I thought back on those times, I was very grateful to have made it through and I didn't even really want to wade through all those old trials and emotions.
But as I picked up the journals and began to read them, two things hit me over and over. Number one: God has always loved me and looked out for me, even when I was going through the darkest times in my life. And number two: He has always answered my prayers.
As I read through the journals, the difficulties of the past melted away, and all I saw revealed was God's loving care in my life, guiding me through very hard paths and decisions, and helping me keep my eyes on Him. Bible verses came alive, and I saw that even if I didn't understand it at the time, God was answering my prayers and helping me through. Most of all, I realized that the faith I have today is based on all the lessons I learned during the most difficult times in my life.
If you're going through confusing or challenging times, I recommend writing down your thoughts. Write down your prayers. Write down the Bible verses you want to claim. Write down the words God gives you in your times of private prayer and keep them. You may not see your way through right now, but if you hold on to Him and trust His love and promises, He will see you through, and eventually you will understand and be grateful that you can look back at all He has done.