Fat chance we’ll all end up over­weight!

Bray People - - What's On Guide - SHEA tomkins

CHRIST­MAS is com­ing and one in four of us is get­ting fat. Just what we needed to hear in the run-up to what is go­ing to be the most mis­er­able fes­tive sea­son in 20 years. Whereas last year we had the added pres­sure of a bulging wal­let, this year it’s our waist­lines that are creep­ing out over the edge. Tur­keys and hams around Ire­land must be do­ing cart­wheels. But not the sprouts.

The Depart­ment of Ed­u­ca­tion-backed re­port re­veals that 47% of men and 70% of women are car­ry­ing a lit­tle too much ex­cess bag­gage when they heave them­selves aboard the scales. And with the ma­jor­ity of us eat­ing dou­ble the amount of high fat and high su­gar foods on a daily ba­sis, the Health Ser­vice is brac­ing it­self for ‘a time­bomb’ in the next few years. An­other sou­venir for the mantle­piece in their al­ready clus­tered bunker.

The Bat­tle with the Bulge hasn’t come about to­day or yes­ter­day but like all good gov­ern­ments, they have de­cided to give the peo­ple an­other lit­tle kick while they’re al­ready down.

Seven years ago a lit­tle boy walked into my class­room in Jinju, South Korea. He was a stocky lit­tle fel­low and it was ob­vi­ous from looking at him that he had been putting on a few pounds. It was only when he sat down on that par­tic­u­lar morn­ing that the but­ton on his trousers burst and went spin­ning across the room. The rest of the class found it hys­ter­i­cally amus­ing. The lit­tle boy ex­plained that McDon­ald’s was to blame and that he had eaten too many burg­ers in re­cent times.

Obe­sity, like any other ill­ness is some­thing that needs help to be con­trolled. At present there is just one clinic in Lough­lin­stown, Dublin, and it has a three-year-wait­ing list. There is talk of two more be­ing set up in Cork and Gal­way. Un­til the con­sul­tants get round to find­ing the time to have a word then, the re­spon­si­bilty lies with our­selves.

There are days when ex­er­cise might feel as at­trac­tive as stick­ing a nee­dle in your eye but in the long-term it’s the body that ben­e­fits and we might even earn our­selves a few ex­tra years to cel­e­brate a few more slices of ap­ple pie. Now, should I have gar­lic chips or taco fries af­ter my pints tonight...

DO IT FOR THE FANS

PREMIER­SHIP foot­ballers here’s a chal­lenge for you. Let’s see just how much you care about the fans of the club you play for. In des­per­ate times, why not take a 10% pay-cut (or more if you like) and en­able your club to cut the cost of tick­ets for the wor­ship­ping masses. Then when we see you puck­er­ing up to your badge on your shirt when you score a goal, we might ac­tu­ally be­lieve some of it.

BER­TIE’S TALL TALE

IT’S time to ad­mit de­feat. We are never go­ing to see the back of Ber­tie Ah­ern. Not so long ago, the whole na­tion watched on while the bounty hun­ters went claw­ing for his blood. We waited for his day in court but Ber­tie out­smarted us all. He re­signed. And then he threw them a Brian Cowen-dolly to play with in­stead.

But the lat­est news that Ber­tie is to re­ceive a six-fig­ure sum to pen his au­to­bi­og­ra­phy should have him up off the crutches and danc­ing yet an­other merry lit­tle jig. The only thing is, which best-seller list will it be com­pet­ing in, fic­tion or non-fic­tion?

With Ber­tie you just never know.

Time waits for no man when it comes to keep­ing off the pounds!

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Ireland

© PressReader. All rights reserved.