2014’s tur­keys: Kim’s bum, Garth’s grovel and Mi­ley’s ball

Bray People - - OPINION - David.looby@peo­ple­news.ie

THERE were many mo­ments to for­get in 2014 and many mem­o­rable mo­ments also.

The fol­low­ing is a brief synop­sis of the events, songs, peo­ple and trends which drove me mad with apoplec­tic rage and caused me to shrug wearily at the TV in equal mea­sure in 2014.

Happy song fad

The Happy Song was fun when it first came out with its click your fin­gers, sing along catch­i­ness. The hap­pi­ness didn’t last. As grow­ing num­bers of busi­nesses, com­mu­ni­ties etc got into the ‘ happy’ spirit post­ing their ‘wacky’ ver­sions of the song on Face­book, Youtube, wher­ever would take it, the fun quickly started to grate and you started to think it was a good thing that Phar­rell Wil­liams lost out to the singer from Frozen at the Os­cars or we’d still be hear­ing the tune around ev­ery cor­ner.


The heart warm­ing tale of Elsa and Anna and the colour­ful cast of this decade’s stand out Dis­ney hit Frozen were fun un­til the vi­o­lence over the Frozen mer­chan­dise broke out. Some 14 odd months since its re­lease Frozen is still the talk of the town. My daugh­ter’s stir­ring ver­sion of Let it Go ex­cepted, the mu­sic, the film, well it’s all start­ing to leave me cold.

Mi­ley Cirus

The virus that was Mi­ley Cirus’s song Wreck­ing Ball led to many symp­toms from mak­ing one cringe and wretch to caus­ing one to look away in hor­ror as if hav­ing pruri­ently wit­nessed a spu­ri­ous home made video. The pint-sized gy­rat­ing en­ter­tainer from Texas twerked her way into the dic­tio­nary and scarred her way into the pub­lic’s con­scious­ness with her new car­toon­ish, grown up per­sona. She’s now got­ten into bur­lesque. Good luck to her!

Kim Kar­dashian

That Break the In­ter­net im­age. That hus­band, That Tv show. The noth­ing­ness of it all. Not to come across all cur­mud­geonly, but how is Kim Kar­dashian and her pos­te­rior that rev­e­lant. The Bound2 video was a gross out, squirm fest by all ac­counts. The Tv show a chore­ographed study in the ob­scene, with some un­self­con­scious grotesque added into the mix. The ‘Break the In­ter­net’ bum photo pretty much summed the lot up.

Tay­lor Swift

The high cheek bones, the chis­elled fea­tures, the an­noy­ingly catchy pop songs. Yes, I can only be talk­ing about Tay­lor Swift. A huge suc­cess in Amer­ica, she brought her faux at­ti­tude pop to Ire­land and her up­com­ing con­cert, pre­saged by some an­noy­ingly cutesy and in­sin­cere ra­dio ad sound­bites, has me fear­ing the in­evitable Ir­ish in­va­sion in 2015. Hope­fully she pulls a Garth Brooks.

Garth Brooks

Garth Brooks’ ten­dency to­wards ex­ag­ger­a­tion and bom­bast made for some hu­mor­ous head­lines after he pulled out of his Croke Park gigs this year. Who can for­get the way the coun­try almost ground to a halt when he an­nounced he was un­will­ing to per­form a few shows be­cause some of his fans would be dis­ap­pointed. Then we had the gov­ern­ment com­ing un­der pres­sure to do some­thing, and then, as a coup de grace, there was the ridicu­lous by him­self vow to swim to Ire­land and beg the gov­ern­ment or who­ever to put on more dates, de­spite the fact that none of the neigh­bour­ing res­i­dents of Croke Park could stand his mu­sic. Here was a clas­sic ex­am­ple of a na­tion which got car­ried away with an erst­while mu­sic star clash­ing with an erst­while mu­sic star who got car­ried away with him­self and it was hi­lar­i­ous and em­bar­rass­ing in equal mea­sures.

ALS Ice Bucket Chal­lenge

The ALS Ice Bucket Chal­lenge was great for rais­ing money to re­search Mo­tor Neu­ron Dis­ease. But then we had the gun-to-the-head obli­ga­tion to do it. I got three buck­ets of wa­ter thrown over me and it was great fun for my ex­e­cu­tion­ers. I was called upon to do the deed while on a stag and it was fun, but like any fad it was great when it was over!

U2 boo­boo

U2 were once a great band. They made great mu­sic. Then Bono started talk­ing. This year’s al­bum re­lease via Ap­ple was a gim­mick. It im­me­di­ately made you think, this al­bum is go­ing to be a flop. You could kind of see where they were com­ing from be­ing mod­ern and all. Ra­dio­head did it with their pay what you like gim­mick; oth­ers have tried to make them­selves rel­e­vant to the mod­ern, ‘we want ev­ery­thing for free’ gen­er­a­tion of on­line rev­ellers. Then U2, fronted by none other than Bono again, did this cringe wor­thy Tv apol­ogy, which was so half hearted you got the im­pres­sion they were hav­ing a laugh at ev­ery­one, which once again con­firmed the fall from grace of Ire­land’s great­est band.

Stuck in a mo­ment of his own mak­ing: Bono pleads for clemency, few care.

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