My brav­ery in tak­ing to the icy wa­ters felt quite good in the end

Bray People - - NEWS - Jus­tine ny o h a M ’ O

SO just to keep the reCord strAight (And not thAt I wAnt to BrAg or Any­thing!) I Com­pleted my Christ­mAs DAy Swim! The fACt thAt I wAs Co-erCed, shAmed And Bul­lied into it, does not tAke AwAy from my BrAv­ery And strength As I stormed the BeACh in Dun­more EAst on Christ­mAs morn­ing, div­ing into the iCy wA­ters of whAt­ever seA it is there!

OK, slight ex­Ag­ger­A­tion. I didn’t storm the BeACh, nor did I dive into iCy wA­ters. It wAs more A CAse of hid­ing Be­hind the mother in lAw, let­ting her go first And sCreAm­ing “Oh Je­sus we’re go­ing to die, we’re go­ing to die!”

I spent most of the morn­ing not tAlk­ing to Him­self Be­CAuse he wouldn’t let me off the hook. Then pAniC struCk As I re­Alised I’d hAve to weAr A swim­suit. HAv­ing eAten A full gArliC BreAd with din­ner fol­lowed By A Big slAB of pAvlovA AND A Cheese­BoArd the night Be­fore, I Be­gAn to re­Alise the full ex­tent of my AC­tions.

After BeAt­ing my­self into my togs And look­ing At my­self in the mir­ror, Any­one would hAve Been for­given for Con­grAt­u­lAt­ing me on my im­pend­ing new Ar­rivAl. Then CAme the frAn­tiC seArCh for A teeshirt Big enough to Cover the dAm­Age. I ended up go­ing out in my togs, teeshirt, dress­ing gown And BoB­Ble hAt, But did mAn­Age to slAp on A Bit of lip­gloss Be­fore I left, so All wAs not lost.

In the end no one gAve me A seC­ond glAnCe. There were hun­dreds on the BeACh All lined up to BrAve the el­e­ments. I’m sure they were more Con­Cerned ABout whether they’d get hy­pother­miA thAn my pot Belly.

I’d like to tell you it wAs greAt fun. But thAt would Be A lie. It wAs feCkin’ freez­ing. I lAsted ten seConds un­der the wA­ter (not in­Clud­ing my fACe - I hAd mAkeup on!!) But the Mother in LAw Be­ing the show off thAt she is, swAm up And down for A few min­utes muCh to ev­ery­one’s Ad­mi­rA­tion.

At leAst there wAs hot whiskeys Af­ter­wArds. And the fA­ther in lAw Brought A hip flAsk of BrAndy too. In fACt I Could hAve Been leg­less By 12.30 with­out muCh ef­fort At All. But see­ing As I hAd the neigh­Bours Com­ing for drinks, I hAd to mAin­tAin some de­gree of so­Bri­ety..... whiCh I did un­til Ap­prox­i­mAtely 3.30 pm when we kiCked most of the neigh­Bours out leAv­ing only A se­leCt gAth­er­ing of hArd­Core pArty-go­ers.

Then over to the in lAws for the din­ner, of whiCh I Ate wAy too muCh And hAd to re­tire from A gAme of Triv­iAl Pur­suit to lie on the CouCh And Beg for gAvis­Con.

The dAy ended with me run­ning home And ChAng­ing into my pA­jA­mAs And slip­pers At 7.30, throw­ing my new fur CoAt over them And wAlk­ing BACk over to the in lAws AgAin. On open­ing the door to me, the fA­ther in lAw Com­mented, “You look like one of those weird lAdies of the night in Am­s­ter­dAm!”

It wAs the seA­son of good­will so I didn’t tell him he looked like Homer Simp­son. And Any­wAy I wAs full of good Cheer. SAntA CAme, no­Body killed Any­Body else over triv­iAl pur­suit, I wAs stuffed to the gills And I wAs the BrAvest per­son in the world!

Life is good!

AT LEAST THERE WAS HOT WHISKEYS AF­TER­WARDS.IN FACT I COULD HAVE BEEN LEG­LESS BY 12.30 WITH­OUT MUCH EF­FORT

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