RUDE TUBE ATTACK
Hmmm… if there was one thing I never thought we’d have to worry about it was getting socked by amorous couples on public transport. A woman in London claims to have been attacked on the Northern line, when she asked a pair of commuters to stop having sex on the Tube. The man, taking umbrage at being interrupted, allegedly spat at the woman’s face and then pushed her. Passengers intervened to assist (her). Granted, nobody likes to be bothered when they are getting it on, but perhaps the Northern line is not the ideal spot for canoodling.
NO SEX ED, WE’RE BREXITERS
Dear, oh, dear. Here’s an unexpected consequence of Brexit — laws making sex and relationship education (SRE) compulsory in all schools, including faith schools, is likely to be put on hold. Maria Miller, a Conservative MP and chair of the women and equalities committee, fears that SRE legislation will be held up because the government is focused on Brexit. A new poll suggests that eight in ten adults support compulsory SRE in schools. The kids want it too. A recent survey by the charity Barnardo’s found that threequarters of children aged 11 and 15 felt they would be safer if they had SRE at school, and seven in ten think it should be compulsory.
BOOZE AND SKIRTS BLAMED FOR ATTACKS
Here’s the consequence of poor sex education — just over a third of British women believe drunk girls in short skirts are partly to blame for sexual assaults. The survey, which questioned more than 8,000 people, found that 38 percent of men also believe the woman is somewhat to blame. Fourteen per cent of young men, aged between 18 and 24, thought the woman — not her attacker — was totally at fault. We’re not much better in Ireland. A recent Eurobarometer poll found that 21 percent of Irish people reckon it is fine to have sex without consent in certain situations. 11 percent of Irish people said that being drunk or on drugs justifies rape, while 9 percent thought it was OK if a woman was wearing revealing clothes.
BAD SEX ADVICE
A while back the rascals of Reddit were swopping the worst sex advice they ever received. Here are some doozies.
The shoelace tip
• Wrap it around the middle of his shaft once, so you have two long ends. Then … pull on the strings, flossing it up and down.
Bad contraception advice
• If the girls on top and you finish in her, gravity will prevent her from getting pregnant. • Using Saran wrap instead of a condom ended up with a trip to the hospital and a $200 bill to fish the Saran from deep within my ex, rather than a quick trip to the gas station and $5 for a f**king condom. • Dip your balls in a mug of hot water to kill all the sperm. Then she can’t get pregnant.
Hot and cold
• Masturbate in front of him using a Popsicle and then “invite him to f**k your shockingly icy pussy. • If you want to spice up your sex-life, use Deep Heat as lube.
Know your place, ladies! • Women should never, ever initiate sex. Ever. It’s bad for your relationship. Your husband won’t respect you if you initiate.