HE’S ABU­SIVE AND CON­TROL­LING

Irish Daily Mail - YOU - - LORRAINE SPECIAL -

I have been mar­ried since 1994 yet my hus­band and I could not be fur­ther apart. We have two chil­dren, the youngest is nine. Some years ago my hus­band couldn’t al­ways rise to the oc­ca­sion sex­u­ally as he is a type 1 di­a­betic, but our sex life was still sat­is­fac­tory. One night, how­ever, he made me have sex even though I said no. I was an­gry and felt he had raped me, so sex stopped. He turned to porn, which con­tin­ues to this day and now he doesn’t want sex with me. On a cou­ple of oc­ca­sions he has tried to date other women. I be­lieve this is down to us both ne­glect­ing our re­la­tion­ship but he can be abu­sive and tries to con­trol me. I love him but I am not sure if I want to leave or stay. Abu­sive and con­trol­ling be­hav­iour is to­tally un­ac­cept­able and even­tu­ally de­stroys re­la­tion­ships, and your hus­band should never have forced sex on you. It must also be hurt­ful to feel sex­u­ally re­jected now in favour of porn. The fact that he shows in­ter­est in other women sug­gests that he is still in­ter­ested in sex but sadly not with you. I know this is hard, as you say you still love him, but it does not sound as if he is still in love with you. Un­less he is pre­pared to change the way he treats you, you will never be happy mar­ried to him. Visit the Cosc web­site (www.cosc.ie) where you will find de­tails of coun­sel­lors and sup­port groups who will help you end the mar­riage.

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