I’VE GIVEN UP ON FINDING LOVE
I am nearly 30 and have never been in a relationship with a woman. Every time I look in the mirror I feel uglier. I have moved away from the town where I grew up and lost contact with most of my school and university friends. I rarely go out. Is love over for me? No, absolutely not. It’s hard that you are feeling so lonely when you should be enjoying life and having fun. Were you criticised and put down as a child? Did your parents tell you that they loved you often, or were you constantly told that you were not good enough, causing your confidence to be undermined? This would perhaps explain why you are so critical of yourself. You could be suffering from body dysmorphic disorder, a psychological condition that makes you believe there is something wrong with your appearance when there is not. So you constantly look in mirrors, each time finding flaws that are not really there. The result is that you isolate yourself and have little confidence in making friends or finding a partner. Ask your GP for a referral for cognitive behavioural therapy to address this. Also, contact the mental health charity MyMind (mymind.org, 076 680 1060). It is important to go out and see people, so once you get help and support and begin feeling better about yourself, get back in touch with old friends, join clubs and take up hobbies to meet new people. When you have gained more confidence, you could try online dating sites as a good way to meet potential suitors.