Will a re­la­tion­ship ruin our friend­ship?


I have been good friends with a girl for the past five years. We met at univer­sity but we both dated other peo­ple. Now we live and work in the same city and have lots of friends in com­mon. I get the im­pres­sion that she would like to have a re­la­tion­ship with me, and one of her friends has con­firmed this. She is a lovely per­son – in­cred­i­bly at­trac­tive, in­tel­li­gent, great fun and sexy, too. I value her and I’m wor­ried that if she did be­come my girl­friend and we broke up, we would lose our spe­cial friend­ship. When you look back on life, the things you re­gret the most are the things you haven’t done, rather than the things that you have. If you are at­tracted to her and she feels the same way, do you want to miss out on the op­por­tu­nity to have a lovely re­la­tion­ship? Some start with in­stant sex­ual at­trac­tion, but of­ten the re­la­tion­ships that are more likely to en­dure be­gin when you are great friends – as well as be­ing at­tracted to each other. The friend­ship helps you to sur­vive the in­evitable ups and downs of a re­la­tion­ship. Of course, there is al­ways a risk. When you fall in love, you be­come vul­ner­a­ble, but she might turn out to be the girl who you want to spend the rest of your life with. Imag­ine how you would feel if she started go­ing out with some­one else and you re­alised – too late – what you were miss­ing.

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