Is swing­ing right for us as a cou­ple?

Irish Daily Mail - YOU - - YOUR PROBLEMS ANSWERED - Zelda West-Meads

My wife and I have dis­cussed in­tro­duc­ing other part­ners into our sex life. We have set some rules – I won’t kiss on the mouth or have in­ter­course and she is free to do any­thing. We fan­ta­sise about do­ing this with an­other man or woman and we have had a three­some with a male friend, which we both en­joyed. We are afraid to ad­ver­tise on­line. And we live in a small com­mu­nity where nearly ev­ery­one knows each other. Are we do­ing some­thing wrong? Yes, I see that you can’t ex­actly put up a no­tice in your lo­cal newsagent! I won­der why you have agreed to no kiss­ing or in­ter­course while your wife is free to do any­thing she wants. Is this be­cause she is more in­ter­ested than you are in swing­ing? It seems rather one-sided. If you both love each other, are emo­tion­ally close and have a good sex life, why would you want to in­volve any­one else and break the in­ti­macy of love­mak­ing? Are you bored with your sex life or does one of you want to try some­thing dif­fer­ent sex­u­ally and the other doesn’t? Some swing­ing in­ter­net sites claim that they have more than 6,000 vis­i­tors a month. Maybe they are all gen­uine cus­tomers or pos­si­bly just cu­ri­ous. If ev­ery­one is happy with the ar­range­ment, then you are not nec­es­sar­ily do­ing any­thing wrong. How­ever, you could be do­ing some­thing danger­ous. You risk de­stroy­ing the in­ti­macy that you share. What if you or your wife en­joy sex with some­one else far more than with each other, or even pre­fer it? One of you might start to fancy one of the other swingers so much that you meet se­cretly and start an af­fair. The big­gest danger is that one of you may fall in love with an­other sex­ual part­ner and want to leave the mar­riage. You need to talk about all this to­gether and per­haps look for ways to bring back the sex­ual ex­cite­ment and plea­sure when just the two of you are mak­ing love. Don’t get in­volved in swing­ing.

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