HOLY COW! Could this breakfast turn YOU vegan?

...because when carnivore Edward Lucas tried this meat-free fry-up, he was gobsmacked by how tasty it was compared to some greasy spoon offerings

BREAKFAST is undoubtedly the best meal of the day. The combination of crisp, succulent bacon, fluffy scrambled eggs, juicy fried mushrooms and a sausage or slice of black pudding – followed by toast, butter and bitter orange marmalade – is one of the greatest contributions to world cuisine.

What fancypants vegetarian offering could possibly compete?

So I approached the Wagamama Noodle Lab in London’s Soho with trepidation. The neighbourhood is achingly trendy – the glitterati’s Groucho Club on one side of the street, a sex shop with an alarming display of leatherware on the other. The foodscape is similarly exotic, with no sign of a greasy-spoon café.

My mission was to try the chain’s new vegan version of the fry-up.

Veganism is vegetarianism for true believers: not only no meat, but no animal products of any kind. No eggs. No dairy. And, I assumed, no taste and no fun either.

I know that eating less meat would help my health, the planet and my pocket – but I need some convincing to change life-long habits.

Yet there are clear signs public opinion is turning. More and more of us are trying to cut down on meat. One in 12 of us is vegetarian.

Veganism is still a minority taste, at around 1% of the population, but it’s growing fast. Just last week celebrities such as Paul McCartney and Chris Packham backed a campaign offering a donation of $1million (€880,000) to a charity of the Pope’s choice if the Pontiff forswears animal products for Lent.

For producers of vegan products, profit is also a motive.

Today, the world’s best food chemists are working full blast on developing meat substitutes. They are backed by billions from sharpeyed investors, who see that the meat industry is running into a wall of environmental and social objection, particularly among the young.

ALTERNATIVES – whether based on fungus (like Quorn), fermented soya (tofu), or concoctions such as seitan (wheat gluten), have the bonus of being cheaper and, say their proponents, tastier.

They can be mass-produced in factories, transported for less, stored for longer and cooked more easily.

If they catch on, the days of industrial meat companies might be numbered.

Trendy outlets are now providing plant patties made with pea protein.

Chains such as McDonald’s and Burger King sell vegan and veggie offerings. So, too, does American-style diner Eddie Rocket’s. But the offering is a little limited – its new unusually titled ‘Impostor’ burger contains a beetroot falafel patty with cheddar, lettuce, tomato, onion, dill pickle and sauce.

Wagamama’s new breakfast menu (available in Irish outlets too), however, is much more ambitious. It includes vegan bacon and sausage, both made with seitan.

The atmosphere in the Noodle Lab, I have to admit, was enticing. Half a dozen white-clad chefs bustled behind the stainless steel counter. Sliding across it came the first part of the menu – a bowl of granola topped with berries and vegan yoghurt.

I am no fan of granola: I have an urge to boil it and make proper porridge, with lashings of cream and sea salt. But any worries about this were outweighed by a pleasant surprise: the vegan ‘yoghurt’. Apparently made of coconut milk, it had exactly the right smooth, creamy consistency and mildly acidic taste.

On the gastronomic front, the vegan offering was a clear winner. Anyone worried by the miserable lives of dairy cows, and the environmental problems caused by their flatulence, would choose it unhesitatingly.

My only reservation would be the cost. Bought at a supermarket, it is nearly five times the cost of bog-standard yoghurt. But it was still ten out of ten for taste.

Next up was avocado toast – no surprises there – with a vegan version of scrambled eggs, made with tofu and turmeric. At a quick glance, it was the right kind of yellow. The texture was right. But the taste was unremarkable – although the difference would be barely discernible if eaten in a hurry. It wasn’t better than the slightly overcooked product of some hapless hen in a barn, but not worse either. Five out of ten.

Much more impressive was the Indian roti wrap. This was a kind of fried pancake, rolled around spinach, mushrooms and tofu, with a hefty chilli kick. It wasn’t something I would normally choose for breakfast, but none the worse for that. The only disadvantage is the tofu. As the chilli heat faded away, my teeth met the tofu, prompting a blast of disappointing nothingness. Six out of ten.

But the centrepiece of the new menu is the vegan bacon and sausage. The sausage was the clear winner here – the right shape and colour, and with a texture like black pudding.

The taste was intriguing – not quite meat, but unlike any

vegetarian product I have encountered. Apart from a mild tangy aftertaste, it was hardly memorable, but nothing to complain about.

The pseudo-bacon was another story. The flavour was overwhelming – maple syrup with a whiff of smoke. The texture recalled a pancake made with wholemeal flour: chewy but not meat.

Labelled as a ‘vegetable fritter slice’ it would have been a pleasant surprise. But as a substitute for bacon, it was disappointing.

The trimmings – mushrooms, sweet potatoes, tomatoes and a second helping of the tofu-based scrambled eggs – were unobjectionable. Six out of ten.

So, was this a vegan victory? Well, it would be unfair to compare this chain-restaurant offering with the gourmet breakfasts I get at home. We are lucky enough to have a friend who keeps pigs and makes his own bacon. We get fresh free-range eggs from our neighbours and I make our own sourdough bread. But that is not what we get when we eat out, and confront the miserly ingenuity of the modern meat industry. For some meat producers, sausages in particular are an opportunity to sell starch minced together with the most unmentionable animal by-products. Not that I always care. Greasyspoon cafés – in all their glory – still offer fry-ups and breakfast rolls for not much more than a fiver to early-risers. I cherish the friendliness of these outfits, and their hits-the-spot calorieladen menus washed down with well-stewed tea. But the vegan brigade now have these long-standing institutions in its sights.

EVEN more pretentious eateries are ripe for a challenge. I recently forked out a whopping £22 (€25) for a full fry-up at London’s Paddington Hilton. The cheapest ingredients – the tomatoes and fried potatoes – were fine. But the rest was not.

The scrambled eggs were rubbery. The bacon was like salty cardboard and the sausage was a grey, greasy tube that was overseasoned to make up for the lack of any discernible porcine connection.

So given the choice, would I eat that again, or head to Wagamama for a much healthier and (I have to admit) tastier option?

Despite my many years of mocking the joyless lentil-munchers, I wouldn’t think twice about joining their ranks.

I still have no desire to become a vegan, or even a vegetarian. I have no qualms about eating meat – especially if it has been humanely reared, or hunted in the wild.

But if I owned an industrial pig farm, I would sell it quickly.

The writing is on the wall. It is vegans who will soon be bringing home the bacon.