CAN’T Choose between ex AND Partner

Dear Coleen

I have been with my boyfriend for eight years now and we have a fouryear-old together. Around two years ago we had a break. I met someone else, who I got on really well with and we started dating.

However, I decided to get back with my boyfriend for the sake of our child, plus I still loved him.

Anyway, I have been texting, calling and going on walks every so often with the bloke I was seeing while my boyfriend and I were taking a break. He has a girlfriend now, but tells me he’s not happy and still wants me. Neither of us is 100% happy in our relationships, but should I cut him off altogether?

Coleen says

I think until you’ve sorted out what you want, then yes you should cut him off. It’s hard to make any kind of clear decision while he’s still on the scene and you’re having these secret meetings.

And look, if he still has feelings for you, then he shouldn’t be with this other girl. It sounds like both of you are keeping your options open, but it’s not a situation you can sustain. You’ll end up falling into bed together and then it’ll be an even bigger mess that’s harder to sort out.

My advice is to try to make a proper go of it with your boyfriend without this guy confusing you. If it doesn’t work and you realise the only thing keeping you together is your child, then be single and decide what you want then. Starting an affair isn’t the answer.