WIFE LOSES IT IN FRONT OF CHILDREN

Dear Coleen

I’m a father of two kids and my wife has me on eggshells constantly. I can’t make simple comments – for example: “We should clean out your clothes drawers”, which she blew up at me for the other day.

There are many little things I say that she just goes berserk over, screaming and hollering out of control in front of our kids, who are 15 and eight.

I’ve always told her we should never argue in front of the children, but she doesn’t care and just continues with this unreasonable behaviour. I’m at my wits’ end.

I just don’t know what to do any more. I desperately need advice.

Coleen says

You’re right, you shouldn’t be arguing in front of the kids. If she seems unable to alter her behaviour right now, then you have to be the bigger person and walk away if things get heated and the children are in the room.

It sounds to me as if she’s stressed and unhappy, so you have to get to the root of why that is.

Rather than get drawn into an argument, ask calmly why she’s so angry and what’s making her so miserable.

Tell her you’re willing to listen and support her, but right now her anger is threatening your relationship and it’s also creating a toxic environment for the children.

I think it’s very hard to sort out unless she’s willing to be honest about why she’s reacting to every situation with anger.

You could suggest relationship counselling, which might at least prove to her how serious you are about finding a solution.