In a situation of conflict, talk about ‘what I feel’ rather than ‘what you did’. Avoid name-calling, swearing, blaming, stonewalling, or revisiting past fights. Avoid attacking, defensiveness, stonewalling, or criticism.
Keep the discussion to the single issue at hand. This makes it safer to deal with conflict — if you bring up past fights, says Ulbrick, the argument will go around in circles.
“Mindfulness gives you more choice. It gives you the choice to take a breath, to pause and to take a more considered approach to conflict.”